A 36-year-old Sheboygan woman is facing numerous charges after police say she stripped in front her children in an attempt to avoid arrest and later kicked a police officer in the groin and exposed herself in the window of a squad car.
The incidents occurred as police tried to arrest Julia E. Laack for stealing beef jerky and a lighter from a Sheboygan gas station, according to a criminal complaint. Laack — who according to online court records has no criminal record in Wisconsin — had a blood-alcohol level of 0.112 at the time, a preliminary breath test showed.
Laack, of 1603 S. 13th St., is charged with felony battery of a peace officer and misdemeanor retail theft, resisting an officer and two counts of disorderly conduct. The charges carry a maximum penalty of five years behind bars, if she is convicted on all counts.
Click here to read the rest of the story. It's pretty funny.
You know, I'll tell a little story about myself because I'm kind of bored. When I went to the Univ. of Houston, I was in a fraternity (I know, that's lame). Well, my buddy Robert Guilbeau and I used to race all the time on 59 and 610. Really, we would haul ass and weave in and out of cars like we were race car drivers. Needless to say, we got a lot of tickets. I remember telling him, "You know, the only good cop is a dead cop." Which isn't very cool at all, as I look back on it. But he did think that was a great line.
Funny story about Robert. We had this guy who pledged one year by the name of Clint. Robert hated him. Every meeting we had, he'd say, "Let's blackball Clit." Nobody would ever go for it. So Robert decided to make his life hell. One party we had, I discoverd Clint was standing in a trash can. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said, "Robert told me I was garbage, so he told me to stand in this garbage can." Can't tell you how much I laughed. Then at another party we had, he made Clint put a tampon in his mouth and go up to chicks, take it out of his mouth, and say, "I'm a pussy." No shit. I laughed at that one too.
You know, the guy never quit. And Robert was so pissed. All right, I'm done. Wait, thanks to the person who sent this. Ok, now I'm done.
As exhilirating as that story was, I can't stop laughing at the line "Let's blackball Clit" That one typo made me totally ignore the rest of your story due to laughing at that. Use spellcheck next time Spurs :)
ReplyDeleteNo. That's what he said. It wan't a typo Queen Bee. He called him "Clit" all the time instead of Clint.
ReplyDeleteNo need for spellcheck Queen Bee! How do you feel now?
I think your friend Robert and I would get along great. Are you sure you are not 'Clint'?
ReplyDeleteBesides QB, spellcheck wouldn't have picked that up anyway. Clit is a word.
ReplyDeleteSo there. :) lol lol :)
(Hope you appreciated those)
DG:
ReplyDeleteOh, he was so damn funny. No, I'm not "Clint" either smartass.
I would've liked Robert more if you were Clint. But how does your story relate to your girlfriend in Sheboygan?
ReplyDeleteImagine if you were the teenager and that was your mother. Now imagine going to school next week after everyone read this article.
It doesn't really relate, that's a good point. I guess I was just thinking how I used to absolutely hate cops, when in reality they have a tough job, as the story shows.
ReplyDeleteThat is a good point about the teenager and going to school. That would be embarrassing.
Also DG, it doesn't surprise me at all you would have liked Robert more if I was Clint.
ReplyDeleteYou won't ever give up trying to "stick it to me", huh?
I was in a fraternity also.. Brings up memories for sure.. Those were the good old days. We had a Kick ass greek system.. For god sakes they made the movie Animal house at our school.. Go Ducks.. Yeah we also had a pledge or two who remind me of this "clit" guy. Good times. all though the year after I graduated they (the school) pretty much started ruining said greek system. No hazing,, no drinking,, blah,,blah blah,, they put us on prohbation and threatend to kick us off campus like most of the others. Anybody who says the greek system is lame and sucks,, were never in it. Great times and great memories.. Lots of booze,,drugs and chicks.. Everybody else can fuck off.. COLLEGE
ReplyDeleteYeah, U of H was always trying to bust us up. Our fraternity advisor was a lawyer from the firm of Fulbright and Jaworski, so that dude was one smart cat.
ReplyDeletePlus, I was the treasurer of the Interfraternity Council at U of H, so that was fun. All the other fraternities hated us. It was fun times trying to play the peacemaker. The head of the IFC was always trying to nail me at something, but our advisor went and talked to him one time with me in the room, and just rain circles around him.
It was so so funny.
*ran* circles around him.
ReplyDeleteYeah I know exactly what you're saying. They were always trying to even bust our live out partys... and always coming after our house. Our fraternity advisor was this older guy that was retired Navy Seal.. He was rich and he was a bad ass dude that new everything. When we got into trouble,,, which was alot.. He would save us.. Those truly were the best days ever. I was social chair and vp during the years.. Awesome. Go Beta
ReplyDeleteYeah man, I hear you. I look back on those days and some of the things I saw and experienced, it was so great.
ReplyDeleteI remember one time at a party at our house, some chick was in love with this guy named Chris Manriquez. Well, she was so drunk and he pretty much told her to leave him alone. So I go upstairs, and this chick as at his door (he locked it) on the floor (rhymed) crying, saying, "Chris, let me in, let me in. I love you." So I'm just standing there watching this. Chris opens up the door, and just steps over her like she is a piece of trash, and walks downstairs. It was like he was oblivious at that point to her existence.
So classic.
Haha.. wow that's awesome.. I love walking the chicks down the back stairs (the walk of shame).. I lived on the top of the house, the third floor. Had to walk her down four flights to go through the basement,, our phat dancefloor..(all kinds of crazy shit has gone down there).. It opens out to our outside half basketball court.. The best part is I would be walking here down and I would here another pair of high heels clicking on the wooden back stairs and it would be one of my buddy's walking is sloot out.. Fucking funny.. Classic!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had quite the experience living there.
ReplyDeleteYeah.. It was fun times for sure.
ReplyDeletehey anon, i find it hard to believe you went to college with such horrible grammar and spelling. your over and unnecessary use of commas and periods is beyond english as a first language. are you a foreign exchange student that stayed after his visa expired?
ReplyDeleteFuck professor.. I didn't know I was being judged????????? How's that?????? Do you like my over use of??????????????????????????????? Please judge me some more because you're awesome.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. I will never give up. Chris sounds really cool, too. How come you didn't console that girl crying on the floor?
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't very nice.
Pretty "STUPENDOUS" actually Spurs, my bad. I just wanted you to call me "Spelling Bee" again! haha
ReplyDeleteDG:
ReplyDeleteThat's great you will never give up. As far as Chris? Yeah, he was real cool.
And as far as the girl? What was I supposed to do? Go over to her drunk ass, and say, "Everything will be OK?"
GAY. (that rhymed).
She was so drunk she wouldn't have remembered anything I said.
QB:
ReplyDelete"STUPENDOUS" indeed. You are right, I missed an opportunity to call you Spelling Bee. Sucks. Glad you went with the "haha" Queen Bee. Kind of a change of pace.
DG:
ReplyDeleteAs far as Chris? Well, I told a story one time about how Robert and I were cruising to a casino in LA and how he spun his car out and hit a fence on our way there. Well, his dad told him if he had wrecked his car, the car was gone. So he and I both knew he was fucked. So we figured it was best his car disappeared out of my parking lot when we got home. Who did we call? Chris. He came and scooped that fucker up in the middle of the night, and took it to his dad's mechanic shop, and they proceeded to chop (rhymed) the shit out of it.
Yep, we were all cool like that.
Spurs,, awesome.. I've been there..
ReplyDeleteThanks bud.
ReplyDeleteWas that sarcasm there DG? Again?
ReplyDeleteI mean, something tells me it was. Just a hunch.
ReplyDeleteMe? Since when have I ever been sarcastic to you?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, check your email. It's kind of interesting and I need your opinion about it.
gay-non, i bet you have seen spurs nuts before. are you at the beach looking for cubans to recuse and bring to your 780,000 square foot mansion to hold them as sex slaves? then you can take them to t.j. maxx and buy then fishnet boxers.
ReplyDeleteI'm shaking with anticipation as I go check your e-mail.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous:
ReplyDeleteThis "anon" is a different "anon" than the one you are thinking about.
You should be. Just at thought of a girl actually sending you an email. So rare for you.
ReplyDeletehe is still lame. and i bet he is a pickle puffer too.
ReplyDeletei wonder where cbt and cadimino man are today?
ReplyDeleteYeah DG, that's it. Now let me go check this "breaking news" I am sure to read.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited.
I think you will like it especially if I am correct.
ReplyDeleteCBT was all over the Nobel Peace Prize post today. As far as Cadimino Man? Don't know.
ReplyDeleteAnd "pickle puffer"?
Funny.
Now I am about to jizz in my pants after reading that DG.
ReplyDeleteYou could've left that last part out. We really don't need to know what it is you do behind your keyboard.
ReplyDeletei like the fake cbt better. he is alot more funny. the real cbt takes life too serious. and he gets pissy and defense right away. he is no fun.
ReplyDeletehey dg, quick question, have you ever gotten so drunk you shit the bed? please be honest.
ReplyDeleteI like cadimino the best but I like fake cbt, too.
ReplyDeleteDG:
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to give you some detail in my life, that's all.
Hey, that was a great e-mail if you are right. I think you might be. Now go check your e-mail.
No, I can't say that has ever happened. Is this a personal problem you suffer?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I agree, I like the both of them.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the real CBT does have some interesting things to say sometimes.
i didnt ever say i did it...i just get the feeling that youre one of those girls that shits in random places.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous:
ReplyDeleteWhere would you ever get that idea from DG? I mean, I like to rag on her, sure, but I wouldn't ever think she just shits in random places. That's kind of gross.
But if you have a good theory, I'd like to hear it.
Hey, you know, when she does leave comments, it's mostly shit, so I am beginning to understand your thinking.
well, from her profane and vulgar language she uses topped off with her semi-slutty ways, i would not put it past her to have shit in at least one persons sink at say maybe a house party?
ReplyDelete"Go hang out on Drew's site with that bullshit."
ReplyDeleteThat's the worst insult anyone has ever written on here. That was low DG.
Look anonymous, as much as I like to rag DG, I know for a fact she's not a slut. Sure, she likes to kiss random tools, but she doesn't sleep with them.
ReplyDeleteNow, if you were to say a kissing slut?
I think she'd agree.
Also, she's not that "vulgar." Except when she insults me. That's extremely vulgar and hurtful.
My profane and vulgar language? Seriously? What have I ever said so profane and vulgar? And my semi slutty ways?
ReplyDeleteI blame this on you spurs.
The reason I said that spurs is because anon and drew have the same level of mentality. They try and reach too far to insult somebody and just end up coming across as a desperate idiot that wants attention. Now he has got it.
I don't think you use profane and vulgar language DG. And yes, I guess-rhymed-that you could blame this on me.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm just "white trash", so what do you expect out of me?
Who the fuck is gaynon.........??????? Judge that bitch... It's not me mother fucker.
ReplyDeletedg, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck......its a fucking duck.
ReplyDeleteGreat analogy anon. However, I've never questioned a duck. Thanks for the useless information.
ReplyDeleteThat wouldn't happen DG. You'd be busy crying at my door. Then I could step over you like you were TRASH.
ReplyDeleteHey DG, did you hear about those people who died and were hospitalized at that sweat lodge in Sedona?
ReplyDeleteWay to go AZ, way to go.
Yeah, and did you hear that each person in the sweat lodge paid over $9k to attend?
ReplyDeleteWhat? Really? Wow. That sucks.
ReplyDeleteCrying at your door? The only way I would be crying at your door is if you tied me to it and would not let me go.
ReplyDeleteI have a coupon for 20% off the next sweat retreat. I am saving it for you.
ReplyDeleteBoth of those lowly insults were pretty good DG, nice job.
ReplyDeleteBut if I did tie you to the door, I'd leave you a bowl of dog food and a bowl of water, so wouldn't cry until you ran out.
"Anonymous said...
ReplyDeletei like the fake cbt better. he is alot more funny. the real cbt takes life too serious. and he gets pissy and defense right away. he is no fun."
I am a cranky old bastard lately.
DG: I've been tryng to bring Spurs to Jesus all afternoon. You should be nice to him because he had shot at you from the "Whore of Babylon" comment I left.
I decided to take the high road CBT. Wanted to show a little class.
ReplyDeleteNow if it had read, "Kissing Whore of Babylon" I might have.
He took the high road because you just showed him Jesus I think.
ReplyDeleteI just didn't want to hurt your feelings DG.
ReplyDeleteYou could never hurt my feelings spurs because I have none.
ReplyDeleteMe neither. So it looks like the both of us are fighting a losing battle here. But I'm not going to give up.
ReplyDeleteYes you do. You were being a bit sensitive yesterday so that means you do.
ReplyDeleteNo, you were being the sensitive one, remember?
ReplyDeleteSpurs: I was waiting for you to use the "cup filled withe the filthiness of her fornication" line.
ReplyDeleteI'm disappointed.
Well, that makes two of us. I'm now disappointed in myself.
ReplyDeleteBasically all that stuff I posted over there indicates that Revelations is about a past event (the reign of Nero, possibly Caligula) and Jesus didn't bother to show his ass up. That negates all the "We're living in the end times" shit, so everybody keep the 401k contributions going.
ReplyDeleteDecember 21st, 2012 is the end of one Mayan Long Count calendar. The "End Times" people leave out that another Long Count starts on the 22nd.
ReplyDeleteNostradamus' prophecies also reach into the 6th Millenia.
I was reading earlier about the Dec. 22, 2012 stuff, and how it's all a big load.
ReplyDeleteI've grown fond of The real Fake Cadamino Man. He's been to Dogpatch. I bet him and his sister are trying to look in DG's bedroom window right now.
ReplyDeleteyer durn tootin' ah's luggin' in her windah! an guessin' wat ah saw peekin out ferm dah bottum of her drawers? a gosh dang pecker!
ReplyDeleteThat's just awful man. Sorry about your luck.
ReplyDeletejus wen ah was gittin ruddy tah stick in meh seesters turdpipe ah look up fer some viz-you-will stimulation an ah seen a trouser snake pokin' out fer sum air! howya tink dat make meh feel?
ReplyDeleteProbably pretty bad. I mean, come to find out your sister was actually your brother this whole time?
ReplyDeleteNot cool.
naw...not meh seester. durtee gurl is dah one wif dah weenus. dat dang ting looked like it mighta winked at meh. ah gots so skurred ah shit meh britches.....again!
ReplyDeletespurs, amma be rite back inna jiffy. ah tinks grandmappy dun fell in dah outhouse an ah gotta git her out.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. Your grandmappy is quite the character.
ReplyDeleteshe sho do likey goin' tah shit wen she drunk. dah last time she done did dis she was wearin' my best stone cold steve austin shirt an got it full of dookie all uppin' down it. dat was dah best shirt ah ever done had. it was even signed by a stone cold look-alike.
ReplyDelete"Signed by a stone cold look-alike"?
ReplyDeleteI imagine you were so pissed. So I take it you are a "rastlin" fan?
uh, who dunt like rasslin? ya got yer udder sports but rasslin is all amerikan. baseball dun come from the englesh and basketball dun come ferm afreeka. sos ah reckon' ah radder be watchin amerikan sports.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think basketball actually came from Canada from Dr. James Naismith.
ReplyDeleteYou do know wrestling is fake, right? Sorry to be the one to tell you.
damn nurthers wif der damn brisketball. fuck em. an who ya dah be sayin' dat rasslin aint reel? are ya sayin' amerika is a fake country too? whatcha gittin at spurs? jus be a gosh dang man an jus say whatcho gunna say.
ReplyDeleteI'm saying the whole damn thing is scripted. It's like a soap opera. I mean, sure the guys in tights are doing some pretty athletic things, and I can't deny that, but the matches are pre-determined.
ReplyDeleteSorry man.
spurs....wer ah come frum ya betta be havin sum sorta pruf er sumpin er else yer callin a man a lyer. aintcho eer seen stone cold givin out dah stunna? yew wont dat tah happen ta yew frum stone cold heself? dat dude dat dun signed meh shirt still werk at triple a feed an supply. and ah can tell him whatcho been sayin'.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and tell him. I do think that's cool he still works at "triple a feed an supply", but to be honest, I really don't care what he thinks of me.
ReplyDeleteAs far as proof? All you have to do is watch a few "matches" and figure it out. Plus, all of them are on steroids too. Sorry to bust up your heros like this.
*heroes*
ReplyDeletenow see hurr spurs, yews talkin crazy likey yew were on kickapoo joy juice er maybe cuz yer on dah udder sidda dah werld wif yer comp-yuter box but ah can gurranttee yew wunt be sayin dis tah stone colds face. aint yew eer seen dah blood frum dem fites? why hell, dah last tyme ah seen dat much blood was wen ah dun lost my butt cherry to aunt cletus. ouchy!
ReplyDeleteDamn man, your "butt cherry to aunt cletus"?
ReplyDeleteDon't you mean uncle cletus? Also, I don't dispute the fact that the moves aren't fake, the blood isn't fake, and the men in tights are doing athletic things. I'm just saying that the "winner/loser" is pre-determined. It's like a 2 hour skit.
one tyme meh aunt cletus walk'd inna meh room tinking it was meh paws room an she was drunker dan a skunk at sunday service. well she start'd rubbin meh weewee den ah start'd gittin all funny feelin and for ah knew it she dun had half her leg in meh poop chute. come tah find out she had ether inna tampon ah was suckin on. ah dun passed out an woke up all bloody like a rassler.
ReplyDeleteThat's one hell of a story Cadimino Man. Amazing some of the situations you have been in. Crazy. You have a pretty messed up family bud.
ReplyDeleteBut hey, at least you felt like a "rassler" for a moment, and that's cool.
why hell ah thot ah was a rassler too. ah was fightin like ya aint eer seen! now who dah hell wants a half a leg stuck in der pooper?! sho as hell aint meh. but she was strong....reel strong so she ended up takin meh cherry. it dun looked like ah had a red sock coming out meh butt fer bout a week aftta. round hurr we pruddy normul folk i reckon'. eer-buddy got der strange kinfolk i reckon'.
ReplyDeleteDude, that doesn't sound "pruddy normul" at all. I still find it hard to believe that she stuck her whole leg in your butt, but I guess it's possible.
ReplyDeleteHey, have you ever considered the fact you and your people might be white trash? I don't mean to be a prick, but that's what it sounds like to me. Here's how you can tell:
If you have some broken down rides in your front yard, or some tires laying around, you might be white trash.
dem aint broken down rides....dey future additions tah dah house. we jus needa bolt um rite on and we got erselfs anudder bedspace.
ReplyDeleteThat's sweet. I didn't know you can make additions to trailers. That's pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteyew sho aint been round dees parts now have ya?
ReplyDeleteNo, I haven't. I'd be kind of afraid to go there, too. I don't want that stone cold look-a-like to beat me up.
ReplyDeletemaybe iffin' ya put out fer him he may not beatcha up sur bad?
ReplyDeleteI once saw a trailer that had another trailer sitting on top of it. They even built a balcony for the 2nd floor trailer.
ReplyDeleteThat was a nice comeback Cadimino, but I'm not going to "put out" for him. I don't want "meh butthole cherry popped."
ReplyDeletewell looky hurr...iffin' it aint dah dancin' queen herself. lil miss durtee gurl. aintcha out dancin wif dah city boys? hhhmmm???
ReplyDeleteI have a picture like that DG.
ReplyDelete'she' aint gunna fess up tah it. 'shes' yella.
ReplyDeleteShe is "yella."
ReplyDeleteThat's not real. Cadimino fantasizes everyone has a penis.
ReplyDeleteThat's true as well. What's up with that Cadimino?
ReplyDeletedurtee gurl, wontcho tell spurs howya pee? ah swear dat pecker moves like a snake. betcha prolly gots fangs too.
ReplyDeleteDG, does your penis have fangs? That's funny.
ReplyDeleteYes, and it's 6 feet long. Jealous?
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeletekinda.
ReplyDeleteAt least cadimino is honest. Spurs...not so much.
ReplyDeleteWith fangs? I'm not jealous.
ReplyDeleteiffin' meh dick had fangs ah could bite yer yew-ter-us.
ReplyDeleteThe girls love it spurs. I can do things to them no other man can. Fangs can reach places no average small penis can reach. It's kinda like the rabbit.
ReplyDeletegirls like having their uterus bit, didn't you know?
ReplyDeleteI for one didn't know that. That's interesting.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't talking to you spurs, that was to cadimino. I already know you know absolutely nothing about girls.
ReplyDeleteThanks for clarifying.
ReplyDeleteNo problem.
ReplyDeleteah could eat yew frum dah insyde out. den frum dah outsyde in.
ReplyDeleteWass awl this hurr tawlk bout rasslin done bein fake? Ya bedda take dat own back nah spursface
ReplyDeleteThis isn hurr lil missy remind me ov my 13th ex wife, I tells ya whut
ReplyDeleteId hit it
ReplyDeleteYou probably would.
ReplyDelete