Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Greetings from Rocket Queen
Rocket Queen Spreads Christmas Cheer
RQ | MySpace Video
No, no, no. Merry Christmas to you. Just to let you know, the next time I hit the bong (it's been far too long), I think another letter will appear. And of course you should check your mailbox for presents. If you hear a loud ticking sound, that's just a giant clock, not a bomb. I wanted to give you an accesory to wear (like Flava Flav) when you hit the town.
Nah, I'm just playing. The big clock would be so your dates (dirty old washed up men) would be able to see what time it is. God knows their eyesight can't be all that good at 68.
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Those presents are WAY better than my personalized snuggies. Way.
ReplyDeleteShe really did put a lot of thought into those presents, didn't she kinkyb!tch?
ReplyDeleteThanks RQ. I will make sure to use my paradise card on my keys to stretch my $500 gift card even further.
ReplyDeleteFor you I am sending over people to paint your walls. It is a couple who foreclosed on their home in Avondale. I hope you appreciate their hard work they will do for you.
uh....she forgot me.
ReplyDeleteThat's thoughtful of you DG.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous:
ReplyDeleteShe forgot Cadamino Man, Chiggers, Hambone, Grandmappy, El Chico Loco, Pinche Pancho and a few others.
Chiggers is dead I think. Or is it hambone?
ReplyDeleteLike Cocaine Cowboy, Evil Spurs Fan, Chef, just to name a few more.
ReplyDeleteBut I haven't forgotten you buddy.
I think both are dead at this point.
ReplyDeleteBreezy & Pelican too.
ReplyDeleteWe LIVE!
ReplyDeleteI just saw the face of the girl Drew slammed all night. So for Drew I am buying him a paper bag. Not to put over her face but to cover his. This way he doesn't have to see her and she doesn't have to see him. Therefore it is a gift for both of them. The only problem is finding a bag that will accomodate the size of his neck.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny.
ReplyDeleteWe're hungry!
ReplyDeleteAnd EV too. It's not easy making a list. I know, I've tried it before.
ReplyDeleteSee you soon Scrawny Pitbulls Present.
ReplyDeleteAren't you going to make a xmas video?
ReplyDelete"That's funny" to the pitbulls.
ReplyDeleteAnd DG, that is a very thoughtful idea.
The freezer section in the grocery store has pretty big bags.
ReplyDeleteI was going to DG, but it would be kind of hard to top this.
ReplyDeleteI aim to please!
ReplyDeleteThat's good thinking anonymous.
ReplyDeleteor you can craft one out of mylar like the one balloon boy's dad used.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I will get one of those suction cup bags for him to squeeze his neck back to a normal size.
ReplyDeleteYou should get Drew some headphones that his "Grinch" can wear. That way he can yell, "I'm smashing that, I'm smashing that" to her during his two minute "run" on her.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous:
ReplyDeleteEven better thinking. Maybe he'd float away.
DG:
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could throw in a collar for him to go along with the suction cup bags.
Yes that is a great idea! Afterall, Heene needs a job. Maybe then I can make Drew float away too. But those moobs will probably hold him down like sand bags.
ReplyDeleteThe thought of Drew smashing anything makes me feel sick.
ReplyDeleteOh, and add Queen Bee to that list. She doesn't come around very often anymore, sadly.
ReplyDeleteHell, I'd even throw "gay-non" in too. And tatazz.
And Exhibit 5A.
DG:
ReplyDeleteIt makes you "feel sick?"
Why? Is it jealousy?
No, it disgusts me. He probably asked her if its ok if he calls her Nik while he is slamming her.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good one. He probably does.
ReplyDeleteHe could wear his "I know Nik Richie" shirt while he's "smashing that" too.
or at least asks if it is ok if he calls Nik while he's slamming her. Nik never answers his phone, so Drew calls umpteen times a day just to hear his voice.
ReplyDeleteor he could make her wear the shirt, but I think Nik is probably too cheap to make them in that size
ReplyDeletein fact, i think Nik's level of decency forbids him from making fat people's clothing, as that would be contributing to the fatness of the public, and Nik is all about helping people, not holding them back.
ReplyDeleteGood Old Saint Nik
ReplyDeleteIt honestly wouldn't surprise me if Nik finds himself in Stockholm Sweden collecting the Nobel prize. They give them to monkeys now.
ReplyDeletewhich I'm sure pleases Jane Goodall to no end, but it makes me angry.
ReplyDeleteNice use of reasoning in your back to back to back comments.
ReplyDeletewell, I'm off to bed. Nighters.
ReplyDeleteNice name drop of Jane Goodall anonymous.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Spurs. comes in handy when I need to talk myself into something
ReplyDeleteAnonymous:
ReplyDeleteNo problem. And I'm curious. This seems to be a different anonymous. You live in CO, right?
Oh, and JAG and 20K would be on the list as well.
ReplyDeleteSpurs, you know how at Christmas offices have Secret Santa? Well, i am the secret anonymous.
ReplyDeleteDamn, Dan K too.
ReplyDeleteI already bought JAG a brain and a magnifying glass so she can look deep into it. Hopefully she decides to replace the brain with her own as well since hers has too many mental defects in it.
ReplyDeleteshe will need a skilled surgeon for such a transplant.
ReplyDeleteI understand now. So you are the "Secret Santa?"
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me:
"santa" as well.
That's not very nice DG.
ReplyDeletei'm sure she will find him right here on spur's blog.
ReplyDeleteyou don't even understand at all. i just said i'm the secret anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI can't afford all that anonymous but I could throw in one of my steak knives for her to perform the operation herself.
ReplyDeletei'm trying to picture that
ReplyDelete"i'm sure she will find him right here on spur's blog."
ReplyDeletePerhaps.
"you don't even understand at all. i just said i'm the secret anonymous."
Fair enough.
spurs what are you getting us all for christmas?
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm going to cash in my ad revenue, and we can all split a pack of gum.
ReplyDeleteActually, it might be a few packs. Lately some people have been clicking on some ads.
ReplyDeleteI hope she decides to send her brain to a museum. The exhibit would be called Deep and Empty.
ReplyDeleteBut more than likely it will be a nice Christmas greeting. Or something like that.
ReplyDeleteOkay DG, you got your point across.
ReplyDeleteI clicked an ad. Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteThat girl is a clueless idiot. I had to say that because I didn't get my point across.
ReplyDeleteYou can't just "click it" and bolt. That's worth like 8 cents tops. You have to click it and actually stay on the ad for a little while like you are interested.
ReplyDeleteBut Merry Christmas to you as well.
Are you protecting JAG because of her mental sensitivity?
ReplyDeleteWhatever DG.
ReplyDeleteI left it up for about 10 seconds so you earned 80 cents.
ReplyDeleteYour brain would end up under the exhibit Fake and WEAK.
ReplyDeleteWhat's that mean?
ReplyDeleteYour brain would end up under the COPYCAT exhibit.
ReplyDeleteMy brain would be put on a pedestal with rays of light shining down on it. It is beautiful and full of knowledge and would be an inspiration to all.
ReplyDeleteNo, your brain would be the on a pedestal for people to learn what a delusional brain looks like.
ReplyDeleteDoctors wouldn't even allow your brain to be used as a transplant. They would crack that hard-headed skull of yours open and be LIKE, "We can't use this."
ReplyDeleteMy brain is like the perfect natural pearl. So rare to find yet such a beautiful sight.
ReplyDeleteIt would be a "beautiful sight." For doctors and scientists.
ReplyDeleteThey'd say, "We can't believe someone has been able to function this long with this type of jacked up brain."
Whatever. I'm out. Your brain is boring me now.
ReplyDeletethis is all speculation. you should crack each others heads open and see who is right.
ReplyDeleteWell, forgive me Pearl.
ReplyDeletei'll volunteer to do the cracking, but you both need to sign a waiver. i do not want to go to jail.
ReplyDeleteok night i'm realloy leaving now
ReplyDeleteI'd win Anonymous. There's no "speculating" on that either.
ReplyDeleteAll right. I'd sign a waiver.
ReplyDeleteAnd good night. Thanks for coming by "Secret Santa."
I'm a semi redneck from Arkansas. Does this bitch think I don't have duct tape? Shit, I got camo duct tape.
ReplyDeleteDistance is a girl's best friend, The Queen looks good here, except her ass doesn't fill out those jeans.
Merry Christmas you old heifer.
*baconators*
ReplyDeleteWhat's up CBT? What are you?
ReplyDeleteA Rooster?
You are up pretty early man.
But now you have more duct tape CBT. So enjoy your gift. I do like the quote she included with your duct tape.
ReplyDeleteAxl Rose has also seem to have forgotten about me. Walken, Christopher Walken, in a winter wonderland.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up Walken? Long time no see bud.
ReplyDeleteMay haps I should send her a gift nonetheless. A box full of canine feces with a spring loaded bottom. Oh, the things you do for your fans. Merry Christmas to all!
ReplyDeleteAnd Merry Christmas to you as well!
ReplyDeleteGreetings Fan of Spurs. How has life been treating you, Ol' Chap?
ReplyDeletePretty good. How have you been?
ReplyDeleteYou have any big plans for Christmas?
That is good to hear, Fan of Spurs. My plans include, but not limited to: Gun range, Dinner, Getting shitfaced hammered.
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty much about it. I was thinking about having a drink in honor of Brittney Murphy. I worked with her before, you know.
Sounds like fun plans. I didn't know you guys did a movie together. What movie was that?
ReplyDeleteThe Prophecy 2. I could tell back then that she would end up having a drug problem. When you have been in this industry long enough you can tell who's star is going to burn out before it really begins to light up. She was one of them. I honestly thought Angelina Jolie would have died a long time ago but she has seemed to keep living.
ReplyDeleteNever saw Prophecy 2. And you are right about Jolie. I thought she'd be dead too. But maybe I got that idea from watching Gina.
ReplyDeleteSometimes art imitates life, Fan of Spurs. Trust me, you did not miss out on too much on The Prophecy 2. What the hell, it was money in my banking account.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have done quite a few movies strictly for the cash.
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm not a charity. I don't work for free. Not all of us can be 100% proud of everything we have done. Whether it is sleeping with an ugly female or committing a stupid crime or even doing a shitty movie, we all have something to say, 'Aw fuck.' to.
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I must be on my way now. Once again, Merry Christmas to all!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by man. And Merry Christmas to you again.
ReplyDeleteOh my this video made my day!
ReplyDeleteI know its all fun and games but it made me giggle.
Hello Pam. What are your plans for Christmas?
ReplyDeleteSame as thanksgiving, just the two family thing but my brother will be with his girlfriends family so I will be the only child again lol. you ?
ReplyDeleteNot much. You think Santa Claus is going to come visit you?
ReplyDeleteYeah I actually have seen him everyday we have a santa outside our shop HHA soo yeah =) hes a pervy santa though =) I g2g work bye bye ill be on later if anyone else is lol merry chrismas kasey
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you too Pam.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas Spurs!
ReplyDeleteTravel day was why I was up so early. I'm checking in from my sister's.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm doing a clinical study on agroup suffering from over active "Christmas Spirit" glands. 08 and 09 are the first two Christmases I've spent around my brother in law's family. They enjoy this shit too much.
or are you able to curtail your lowclass filthy mouth around your family and act like an appropriate and acceptable person.
ReplyDeleteyou've got absolutely no game. you throw on a cheap suit and some smelly cologne, and i can only imagine what for shoes...and dub yourself "ready for the city" hahahahaha oh my god, what a loser.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas everyone. I'm going out to dine alone. Tomorrow I will help the less fortunate by serving up food. See you there Elfie, I slap an extra helping of smashed potatoes on your plate.
ReplyDelete"Rocket Queen said...
ReplyDeleteHey CBT, why don't you ask your sister to show you her pussy?"
Aside from the fact she's my sister, she's over 26, oh wait, so are you, like waaaaay over.
"Rocket Queen said...
or are you able to curtail your lowclass filthy mouth around your family and act like an appropriate and acceptable person."
At least my family still invites me to Christmas...
"Rocket Queen said...
you've got absolutely no game. you throw on a cheap suit and some smelly cologne, and i can only imagine what for shoes...and dub yourself "ready for the city" hahahahaha oh my god, what a loser."
My taste in "ready for the city" clothing and shoes is quite impeccable and I have enough "game" to keep from having to fuck something like you, a washed old heifer preying on geriatric trouts, attracting their attention in Lane 15 with your flashy turquoise bowling ball.
"Rocket Queen said...
ReplyDeletehahahahaha oh my god, what a loser.
Merry Christmas everyone. I'm going out to dine alone."
Who's the loser?
I'm glad RQ and CBT are letting the spirit of christmas show their true feelings to each other. Enjoy the holidays you couple of grinches.
ReplyDeleteI'm stuck listening to my entire family that cannot sing blast karoke throughout the house.
Saint Louis? Polo Black is "stinky". I hope whoever you let pick you up has a walker that fits through your door.
ReplyDelete*Polo Black is "stinky"?*
ReplyDelete"Dirtygirl said...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad RQ and CBT are letting the spirit of christmas show their true feelings to each other. Enjoy the holidays you couple of grinches.
I'm stuck listening to my entire family that cannot sing blast karoke throughout the house."
I just went through a very similar experience, high decibel versions of "Oh Holy Night" and "Frosty the Snowman",
And actually I'm not that much of a grinch this year, except where tranny's with delusions of grandeur are concerned. You see, for the last 5 years either my mother, my sister or both were undergoing treatment for breast cancer. This is our family's first cancer free Christmas in a while. Kinda hard to be grinchlike this year.
"Rocket Queen said...
ReplyDeleteah, but i won't be going home alone,..."
I just threw up in my mouth a little. RQ and sex=eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
i stayed home. didn't feel like getting dressed up, and where I go, you have to be very nicely dressed or be treated like a substandard miss texas.
ReplyDeletecbt, don't kid yourself, i clean up very nicely and you'd be falling all over yourself just to get a whiff of my underarms.
which you would probably get when i waive you off in dismissal.
ReplyDeletebut you'd never get in the places where i go. but please try, as it will be entertaining to see your toothless face pressed against the window, staring longingly at what people should look/dress/eat/behave like.
ReplyDeleteit will be like me, when i go to the zoo to the giant window and watch the sharks. you just know you cannot get into the tank cuz you're not one of them, they will eat you alive.
ReplyDeleteand you can just stand with your face against the window till a giant eyeball peers back from the other side as if to say "you don't belong here, you smell"
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, Dirty Girl.
ReplyDeletebtw, those painters never showed up from avondale.
ReplyDeletei just love how you think polo black = dignified man. you should create your own hick comic strip, the country would enjoy it.
ReplyDeletei bet the people of your town still chase people in the beds of pickup trucks with pitchforks.
yeah, that is civilized.
see how fucking mad you make me? i'm leaving now. i get you an xmas present and you do not even have the manners to thank me. that's what i'm talking about, your lack of manners and the belief that you can tame that nasty stench of your by bathing in polo black.
ReplyDeletein fact , the only words you use more than pussy are polo black. wtf?
I just threw up in my mouth! RQ, please close your legs!
ReplyDeleteThis little puppy in my picture is sleeping like a baby in my arms right now. I'd be jealous if I were the rest of you.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas Drew.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs Rocket Queen and CBT.
ReplyDeleteAnd Rocket Queen, thanks again for making this video.
ReplyDeleteIt was really funny.
DG:
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous.
RQ - Why thank you, I will be expecting that gift, mailed to my office. I have already alerted the mail clerk that once it arrives, it is to be rushed to the garbage bin immediately.
ReplyDeleteOh and I got you something as well, a .38 Special with one bullet... Please, please put it to good use, and give all of us the best gift ever.