Tuesday, December 22, 2009
How to look like a Jersey Shore Jerkoff. By DJ Pauly D
You seemed to have forgotten a couple of things Pauly D: get some graffiti (vines) painted all over your body (are you Tarzan?), and shave your pits like a chick.
"It comes out perfect?" Far from it bud, far from it.
And Francis, I imagine you are sick today. I know I would be.
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this guy is a fucking tool.
ReplyDeleteI want to kill every last one of these faggots... They are a disgrace to their people and jokes to the world
ReplyDeleteThey are a disgrace, that's for sure. I was wondering as an Italian how you felt about these asshats.
ReplyDeleteI can't watch this video right now but I can imagine what it's like. Can't we just blow up Jersey and start all over?
ReplyDeleteI think that would be a great idea. Let me explain the premise of the video:
ReplyDeleteA clown takes himself way too seriously and talks about styling his hair like a total douchebag.
The End.
And I bet everyone in Jersey does not see the humor in what the rest of us see while watching it.
ReplyDeleteProbably not. They probably have his picture up in their living room. Like Jesus.
ReplyDeleteI'm seriously contemplating taking some real street cats to the jersey shore next summer, and run threw those houses/clubs etc... beating the shit out of all these morons until they have some sense
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be taking these losers pretty hard man.
ReplyDeleteThese losers on Jersey Shore will turn into Drew one day. That's so sad.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I was waiting for you to drop Drew in the grease on this post.
ReplyDeleteYou should be happy for him though DG. He has a girlfriend now. Well, it should make you happy or give you some ammo to rip him with. I'm thinking the latter part of that equation.
ReplyDeleteA girlfriend? How much did she cost and what happens when her time on her meter expires?
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. She turns into dust, that's what happens. Actually, from what he wrote, she's rich. But then he also wrote that she needs to lose about 20 pounds.
ReplyDeleteI think he should write that on her Christmas card. Should score him some points.
Oh....is that the girl with the double chin? Maybe he got her on clearance.
ReplyDeleteSock puppet needs to lose 20 pounds too in just his neck area alone.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he got her 75% off at the dollar store. You know, if you look at her she looks like The Grinch, but I already used that term for one of Pam's pics, so I hate to use it again.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, she reminds me of The Grinch.
The only pic I see is where her face is cut off. Is there more?
ReplyDeleteSock puppet makes me laugh still. It's funny you wrote that, because someone wrote that he needs to lose 20 pounds himself.
ReplyDeleteI don't think so. And sadly, if he reads this, there won't be anymore either.
ReplyDeleteWait, you aren't looking at the right pic. You need to look at the pic where it looks like he's contemplating something. I'm guessing it's, "Damn, I wonder if I should post this pic?"
ReplyDeleteNope, you shouldn't, but you did.
Well, if you ever find the person who did make up that hairdo, tell Wopness Streets, he seems to want to murder all of New Jersey.
ReplyDeleteI see the head cut off pic post that you are referring to DG. The next time I get laid, I'm going to tell her, "Thanks for letting me smash that."
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking that's a smooth way to put it, and it should score me some brownie points.
I drank so much cap'in mo all i need is a parrot
ReplyDeleteAvery?
"WTD said...
ReplyDeleteno, drinking with some buds at the country club.. and throwing cigarette butts on the fairway LOL"
No I'm not gonna shoot you in the head, someone needs to suffer with me. I got tore up from the floor up at the Royal 66 last night. Geez all I did was stop by to have a beer on my way to the resort. I ran into a couple of guys that I went to high school with that I actually liked and we got fucked up.
Wopness I think Avery likes to get smashed too, so you two should get along well.
ReplyDeleteCBT, did you guys drink some moonshine?
ReplyDeletePam's new picture looks good.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she'll appreciate reading that.
ReplyDelete"SPURS FAN said...
ReplyDeleteCBT, did you guys drink some moonshine?"
There really hasn't been any moonshine around here much since the county got voted wet back in 1978. Wasn't any money in it anymore so all the old moonshiners went to growing weed.
I had like 14 beers and a half dozen shots of Jose Quervo. I feel like I been et by a wolf and shit off a bluff again.
You felt like you were "eaten (I take it that's what you meant) by a wolf?"
ReplyDeleteYou should have worn your 3-Wolves shirt to combat that.
I have come to the conclusion that Jerseyites are the Italian version of hillbillies.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good call.
ReplyDelete"SPURS FAN said...
ReplyDeleteYou felt like you were "eaten (I take it that's what you meant) by a wolf?"
You should have worn your 3-Wolves shirt to combat that."
No, I FEEL, as in right now, like I was "eaten" by a wolf and shit off a bluff.
I do not own a wolf shirt of any kind. My tattoo should have protected me if anything was going to.
As much as I would love to say that half the characters on some of these shows are fake or exaggerated, I have met people just like them.
ReplyDeleteI used to work with this Mexican kid who got a job because he was banging the boss's daughter. Basically, so she wasn't dating so much of a loser. He would come to work with a spare pair of shoes, a hat, a comb and cologne, and he would wear his shirt inside out. Every lunch break he would flip his shirt back, comb out his fro and get all dressed up so he could "spit game" at just about every fuckable female in sight. Never once in the two years I worked with him did a single chick give him at least a number. Yet his ego near came off it's peak.
never*
ReplyDeleteSo did the boss's daughter ever find out he was hitting on every female in sight?
ReplyDeleteHitting on chicks? She knew he banged a couple while they were dating and apparently it wasn't a deal breaker at the time. I mean, this dude wasn't sly in the least. His idea of keeping the other girls under wraps was to not bring them around the house, that was pretty much it. But you also have to understand that the daughter was dumb as rocks herself. They're broken up now simply because he never changed his routine, even after getting caught a couple times. But still, they dated at least 3 years and I would bet money he was banging other chicks from day one. In fact, I wouldn't doubt if she was one of the "other" chicks.
ReplyDeleteThe dad must have been pretty dumb too.
ReplyDeleteDrew is disgusting... "smash that" I think he means that he was smashed drunk and only lasted 2 mins before he simultaneously went limp and started loudly snoring.
ReplyDeleteYou probably hit the nail on the head. I just wonder if she knows about his site.
ReplyDeleteProbably not, any self-respecting woman wouldn't allow their boyfriend to post them on a website and refer to sex with them as "smashing that"
ReplyDeleteWAIT what the hell am I thinking?!
Lack of self-respect is a prerequisite for dating Drew.
that fucking show is derogatory. they are the italian version of n_ggers. fuck, i hate them.
ReplyDeleteStreets, so you don't think the term "smashing that" is romantic? I think it's thoughtful.
ReplyDeleteThat show is derogatory anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI just checked out Drew's site. I don't know whether I am more offended that Drew hung out with some chicks with plasticized hair that "reminded me of Bitchhog" or just the fact that my "name" appears over there as a headline post.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up bitchhog? I found it a little odd you e-mailed him too.
ReplyDeleteSo I take it the "plasticized hair" isn't a compliment?
Wait. what did I miss? what email? Now I have to go back over there to see what you are talking about.
ReplyDeleteand for the record...I would never wear an animal on top of my head or apply that orange soul glo.
ReplyDeleteWell, I would hope not.
ReplyDeleteshow us your tits bitchpig
ReplyDeleteOh great, the Evil Spurs Fan is back.
ReplyDeleteWhen Drew and his new woman have sex the building shakes. I am afraid the floor will collapse.
ReplyDeleteShe does not fit in my bird bath.
spurs, do you have itunes? kaspersky was fast, but it effed up my ipod connection to itunes.
ReplyDeleteI am back to the drawing board again.
Unless you can tell me how to get past that glitch. I know there is a way, but I was so pizzed I just uninstalled it.
oh, before I get too far ahead of myself...
ReplyDeleteRIP thread
She has a very nice farm with many fowl I can smash (I am learning New Jersey slang).
ReplyDeletefuck you you piece of shit fucking bird
ReplyDeleteWhat's up kinkyb!tch? No, not sure how to get around it. But I hear their customer service is bad ass, you could always call them.
ReplyDeleteThurrs thet other gurl my great great grandson nephew ajacks orft at all thuh time, thet Elfie gurl. Ifn he werent ajackin orft at thet Pamela Anne, he was ajackin orft at thet Elfie.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up Avery?
ReplyDeleteThet Evile Spurs fayun needs tuh have cousin uncle Clem's pecker run up his pooper toob.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up Grandmappy? You cheap whore.
ReplyDeleteOh, and kinkyb!tch, that Kaspersky was bitchhog's idea. So if you end up using it, thank her.
ReplyDeleteKB show us your tits NOW
ReplyDeleteThere are many upcoming changes at the center of the world's largest used cell phone headquarters. My benefactor, Drew, says that his new girlfriend is "capitalization" and the empire will grow.
ReplyDeleteMy benefactor, drew, is unaware she offered me a beak job while he was at the 7 11.
Grammappy the douche bag whore stinks like mold and ammonia
ReplyDeleteMowld an ammony is mah favrite parfum. Dont yew be agivin away muh secrets.
ReplyDeleteI, too, would enjoy seeing kinkyb!tch's human breasts.
ReplyDelete"Mowld an ammony is mah favrite parfum. Dont yew be agivin away muh secrets."
ReplyDeleteThat's funny Grandmappy.
all this spinoff character is old. I don't even read it anymore. jsut scan over it.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up Kinkybitch?
Whurr's thet Evile Spurs Fayun alive? I's gwine to sen cousin uncle Clem thurr to run his pecker up thet Evile Spurs Fayun's pooper toob. He needs his pooper toob reamed out sos he'll act raght.
ReplyDeleteI would be happy to see Bitchhog's human breasts, also.
ReplyDeleteAcoarse, a pooper toob reemin aint stopped my great great grandson nephew from ajackin orft at everthang he spys. He ajacked orft at the mayulman this mornin and like tuh got hisself shot ageeyun.
ReplyDeletethese fucking piglets on this site really need to start earning their keep.
ReplyDeleteOut with the cunts, ladies
"The next time I get laid, I'm going to tell her, "Thanks for letting me smash that."
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking that's a smooth way to put it, and it should score me some brownie points."
Calling her a clear heeled stripper whore should earn you some brownie points too.
Low blow DG, low blow.
ReplyDeleteThe screen just turned black. What are you doing over there?
ReplyDeleteI'm not doing it. Someone else is. I want to change the look of the site up a little bit. The same look is getting old.
ReplyDeleteBut it was funny and made me laugh and that is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteYou should make it pink and white polka dots. That would be cute.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm glad you had a laugh DG.
ReplyDeleteI think pink and white polka dots would be cute.
ReplyDeleteWtf? I thought I was lost on the 'net for a minute.
ReplyDeleteYeah, just give it some time. It will end up looking cool, I think.
ReplyDeletewtf is this? change it back!
ReplyDeleteEvil Spurs Fan:
ReplyDeleteYou don't get laid with that attitude, do you?
You don't like it Kinkyb!tch?
ReplyDeleteI second BH btw. Scan, scan, oh there is a comment to read, scan scan scan sccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
ReplyDeleteGo away alter egos. No one cares.
no, hurts my old lady eyes.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's not going to stay like this.
ReplyDeleteI agree with kb on both counts. This is hard on the eyes and the alter egos are getting old.
ReplyDeleteturn it off, spurs!
ReplyDeleteHang on.
ReplyDeleteI dont like this black, reminds me of niggers
ReplyDeleteCLW - Yeah right bitch you would do it for $5 and shut the fuck up about it.
BH KB CBT - out with your pussies, bitches
That's nice Evil Spurs Fan.
ReplyDeleteThe pussy I call mine is attached to a very nice looking 23 year old nursing student so you won't be seeing it come out.
ReplyDeleteAs far as Evil Spurs fan's request to kb and bh, I'm on his side.
fANCY, but it hurting my eyes and now I think I am developing a headache... thanks Spurs
ReplyDeleteSorry, it's changed back now.
ReplyDeleteniggerdom
ReplyDeleteWhat type of person buys a motorized scooter for an 8 yr old?
ReplyDeleteOkay, this I like.
ReplyDelete"Elfie said...
ReplyDeleteWhat type of person buys a motorized scooter for an 8 yr old?"
A redneck?
What are you referring to Streets?
ReplyDeleteCBT~ WRONG! Ignorant mexicans that must MUST have a death wish for my son.
ReplyDeleteYeah CBT, there's not much you can do with Blogger unfortunately. I'd have to switch up to wordpress. I just wanted something different. It's had the same look now for exactly six months today.
ReplyDeleteOh shit Streets, your ex bought your son a motorized scooter? A go cart I can understand, but a scooter?
ReplyDeleteStrange.
The kids Father (actually his mom) bought a motorized scooter for my very petite and breakable 8 yr old son. It only goes 20MPH is what they told me... DO THEY NOT REALIZE THE DAMAGE THAT CAN BE DONE TO A CHILD IF HE CRASHES OR FALLS AT 20MPH?! Fucktards... I'm selling it anyone in the market for a scooter?
ReplyDeleteStreets,
ReplyDeleteI had a motorcycle when I was a kid. But I think I got it when I was about 11. So yeah, 8 is a tad bit too young.