Monday, April 5, 2010

Need some help ladies? Comfortably Numb is here to help


If you've been sitting around wishing the folks at Amazon would finally get off their lazy asses and start selling products that facilitate potentially damaging oral sex, then today is your lucky day.

Comfortably Numb, the spearmint-flavored deep-throat spray, costs under $9 per bottle and can help you or a loved one desensitize the discomfort associated with loveless, porn-style fellatio.

The brief description of the product also notes the spray is discreet enough to carry with you anywhere. And as an added bonus, it's a breath freshener too.

Where's Pam? She needs to see this and get her prepaid credit card out.

164 comments:

  1. So Skeets, DG, Bitchhog, Astrid and Rocket Queen, maybe this will help you finally be able to keep a man.

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  2. I'd throw kinkyb!tch in there, but she was somehow able to trap a man.

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  3. This must be good, because I know Spurs wouldn't recommend anything he has not tried personally.

    Thanks, Spurs. I think I'll get some and hope it works on my eyes, should I ever meet CBT in person.

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  4. wow, you waited good and long to bring that banner out.

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  5. what are we celebrating? the rodeo? what gives, why the new banner?

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  6. I did, didn't I? I had another one too that was really sharp Giraffe, I can't find it.

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  7. And hey, Bitchhog was asking about you, you two always seems to miss each other. I told her you were on this post.

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  8. The Rodeo?

    That's funny. Nah, just wanted something different.

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  9. So any thing crazy happen to you lately?

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  10. WELL i'm never around for long, Spurs. And to be honest, I need to get the hell outta here before the Russian Bride gets home. I don't want to run into her. She is back. Moved out for two days and now she is fucking back. I'm gonna carry my camera and do a video of her. I'm confident she will attack me and claw my eyes out. I'd like to have it on video. I am not even going to antagonize her (while the camera is rolling)

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  11. If you took a video of that Russian bride Giraffe, that would be bad ass.

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  12. during the earthquake the other day, I actually thought she was taking a sledgehammer to my walls.

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  13. She is. She's a snake, that's probably why.

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  14. Had you ever been through an earthquake before?

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  15. I'll tell Joseph to take one of her. He will do it when she is in one of her fucking tizzy fits.

    Ok, I gotta run and get my snacks before she is scheduled home, which is around 8:30.

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  16. yes once when i was little and we were visiting CA from Europe. I was in the hotel bathtub

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  17. What kind of snacks are you getting?

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  18. Who is this Russian Bride?

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  19. See what a nice guy I am bringing you two together?

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  20. Her next door neighbor has a Russian bride and she's nuts.

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  21. I am doing fabulous now! How are you? I hear you are beating the guys off of you lately. You vixen...

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  22. oh my, well, the russian bride. She is my neighbors soon to be wife. She thinks he and I have something going on and tried to beat me up. Luckily he came into the room and she shifted her brutality to him. She still has plenty for me though, so i must avoid her.

    I mean, joseph and i went out and got drunk, and made out. But, really now, I wouldn't call that a relationship or anything to get upset about.

    stupid fucking russians.

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  23. well, no, i wouldn't beat the guys I go out with, BH. They have really frail bones after age 75

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  24. Frail Bones, Solid Bank Account. That's all I'm sayhing. I need someone to care for me because I have discovered I am a big fuck up. That and my family has cut me off.

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  25. You went out and got drunk and made out? What's her problem Giraffe?

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  26. Well, I need to get to cold stone and back before 8:30. Ohhhh...and Arby's. Turkey and swiss. or maybe panda express? Nah, that is just stupid Elfie doing a mindmeld on me.

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  27. You should blow him some kisses and have the camera ready. I would love to see this. Russians have hot lil tempers.
    The silver foxes? Do you wear gowns and go ballroom dancing?

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  28. I just had some Chinese tonight Giraffe.

    And some Cold Stone as dessert would be delicious.

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  29. And how old is this Russian bride?

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  30. I was going to take myself on a date for sushi, but settled for subway. now I regret it. It's like I stood myself up.
    Maybe I will go for a drink to make up for it.

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  31. and Spurs, I don't have trouble keeping a man. i have trouble getting rid of them. Maybe this stuff would work like mace, as RQ suggested.

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  32. I ate a whole footlong turkey sub. every last bite. I need dessert too.

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  33. Please tell me you had it toasted.

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  34. Yes. I did. with all of the veggies, oil and vinegar, oregano, and extra pepperoncinis.

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  35. Sounds tasty. Maybe I'll make you one sometime. Then I'll toss it in the oven to toast it and say I baked.

    There you go, now I'm thinking.

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  36. What did you have, Spurs? Grilled ham and cheese from teh Forman grill?

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  37. Nope, I guess you can't read. I wrote I had Chinese. Shrimp Lo Mein homey.

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  38. I don't read all of your comments. I tend to skip some, just like CBT's.

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  39. I'm sorry, I really didn't read what you just wrote.

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  40. I'm stupid and I mind meld? I hope your Artby's gives you explosive diarrea, that way your ass will more closely resemble your mouth.

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  41. Hi sours!

    Did you know that Scottsdale has a high rate of sewage leakage? It's been hard for them to contain all the crap RQ spews out her mouth on any given day.

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  42. So this is how you keep a man, spurs?

    Thanks for the advice.

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  43. this stuff has been aroun d for years....it was named chloraseptic.

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  44. seriously. if you ever read penthouse forum you would know about that stuff.

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  45. Funny. You're a fan of Penthouse forum huh?

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  46. i was back in the day. that was before the internet, then i found the internet and life hasnt been the same.

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  47. You mean in a good way or bad way?

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  48. I think anon is doing some internet research now.

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  49. That made me laugh. Good one bitchhog.

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  50. no bh...i was shakin' the bacon to your dance vid.

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  51. so anyways, i dont know spurs. it has been both good and bad. ive seen fire and ive seen rain.

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  52. ok...research to do. wish me luck. will report back in later.

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  53. And nice lovely poetry with the with the "fire and rain" crap. Funny.

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  54. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end... but I always thought I'd see you again.
    Dude, Anon stole that from James Taylor.

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  55. You really are like an Editor Skeets.

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  56. I have become addicted to Super Mario on the Wii. I don't even like video games, but I think it is time for an intervention. My tourettes is in full force.

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  57. Are you good at it? What other games do you have?

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  58. I think Sonic or whatever. It's not my Wii. Like I said....I don't care for video games. I need this thing to be gone. I am going to have to pick up my book or watch a movie. I rented Day Without a Mexican. Yeah, i am behind the times when it comes to movies.

    or go out... choices choices

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  59. What are you doing, Spurs?

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  60. Is it a romance?
    Does it include the above mentioned product?

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  61. I hope you dedicate it to bitchhog.

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  62. Of course. Where do you think I'm getting the inspiration for it?

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  63. Will there be characters like the ones on here?
    Speaking of characters...where is Drew? I did receive a lovely text from him the other day.

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  64. All sorts of characters. Just from Drew alone I could five or six.

    I don't know where he is tonight. I'm take it was a lovely text you received?

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  65. did you read some of that book I gave you the link to spurs

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  66. No, actually I didn't Astrid. I forgot.

    Or maybe I was just scared!!!

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  67. I knew you would forget!

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  68. You should dedicate your novel to me.. or at least name a character after me... I am an MVP around here after all

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  69. Well, when I got to work I actually had some work to do and yes, I forgot.

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  70. I forgot about that too. You and Skeets.

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  71. i bookmarked this link..

    http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/books/necro_proj/index.html

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  72. Okay Voodoo Lady, I'll try to remember to read some of it in the morning.

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  73. Settle down Skeets. Astrid wrote earlier how you and her were giving me tips on the font and look of the site, I said you two are MVPs.

    Take your "looking to battle" elsewhere Skeets, I'll smash you.

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  74. "skeets" reminds me of skeet skeet

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  75. fuck you spurs... :D

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  76. I can't sleep as usual

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  77. Hey, some commercial just came on. Check this out:

    http://whatiszeo2.myzeo.com/?cmpid=DRTV_TSTMNIAL60

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  78. I watching History Channel special on Peter the Great.... Great Northern War is about to happen and the Swedes are going to get their asses kicked..

    Nothing else is on this late.. LOL

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  79. that seems cool.. but I don't think it will help me

    I found out a company already makes kitty cams.. it's a collar that takes photos and they are uploaded to the computer

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  80. kitty cams are not expensive so I think I'll get one, because I really do want to know where my cat is going and doing....

    It has good reviews..

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  81. you can get one for your dog

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  82. That will be interesting to see.

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  83. somebody said he put it on his cat and found out it mostly hangs out on the roof all day...

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  84. I'd like to see the cat hunt or get in a fight.

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  85. i don't want to see my cat fight.. haha

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  86. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW2xeuMfcrc&feature=related

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  87. I watched all four parts of that. That was good.

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  88. I saw some links to dog fights.. the is messed up...

    and I wouldn't record cats fighting like that..

    I wonder when cats decide to stop fighting

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  89. I think watching cats fight is all right, but I wouldn't want to watch a dog fight.

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  90. I going to try to go to sleep.. good night hopefully

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  91. what is that new

    j

    comment about

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  92. I just hit a random key sometimes and post it to move the comments along. Sometimes they freeze when comments are made at the same time.

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  93. ok.. haha

    goodnight

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  94. wait, wait, wait a fucking second!!! stop the presses! drew has bh's cell number and i dont?!?!

    something (everything) is wrong with that picture!

    ReplyDelete
  95. "Rocket Queen said...

    Frail Bones, Solid Bank Account."

    Too bad they hobble screaming into the night after spending and hour with you.

    ReplyDelete
  96. "Anonymous said...

    wait, wait, wait a fucking second!!! stop the presses! drew has bh's cell number and i dont?!?!"

    Here's your answer. Even Drew isn't isn't as big a douchebag as you are.

    ReplyDelete
  97. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36157764/ns/politics-white_house/

    Like we didn't know.

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  98. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36157764/ns/politics-white_house/


    Yeah, that was pretty obvious.

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  99. RQ got cut off from her family? How is she going to act better than everybody now? She... might... have... to... GET A JOB!!!!

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  100. Just fighting with insurance companies and the City... You?

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  101. You have some good cases?

    As far as me? Not much man, just working on a paint and body shop's taxes.

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  102. No such thing as good cases anymore. The economy coupled with the constant lobbying for insurance has shifted the power even more in the insurance companies favor. Then the clients will settle for pennies on the fucking dollar just to pay their bills... Its fucking sickening

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  103. But your still able to make a living, so that's good.

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  104. Aren't you suing the police department?

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  105. So what do you think you are going to do?

    And have you ever considered getting out of private practice? Or do you not want to work for someone?

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  106. Yeah fuck working for someone else.

    Hey spurs erase that comment from me will ya?

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  107. Yeah, I don't picture you working for someone else.

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  108. No way would anybody above me put up with my shit! lol

    And thanks bud, got too detailed on that one, not supposed to do that

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  109. I'm tired. Hi Sours, I see not much went on here after I left last night.

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  110. Too late, I saw it Wop! You're in big trouble.
    Astrid-did you know they make some stoopid collar deal for cats that uploads what the cat is doing to Twitter? Fo' reals. You should buy it.

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  111. SPURS FAN said...
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36157764/ns/politics-white_house/


    Yeah, that was pretty obvious.



    I can't believe that was even a story. If that can make it on MSNBC, then why isn't this site and our solid friendships we have built here on CNN? What a bunch of BS!

    ReplyDelete
  112. I'm confused by this spray. If you are numb, does that mean you cannot gag? Because I would think you still could, so then what would be the point of this spray?

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  113. What's up kinkyb!tch?

    And I agree. This site (and the infinite wisdom displayed on the writing of the posts) should get national recognition.

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  114. And kinkyb!tch, the point of the spray is to indeed make the throat numb.

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  115. But why would you want someone to have a numb throat to blow you if they can still gag? Do guy's sharpen their dick's nowadays?

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  116. You're really inquisitive about this product kinkyb!tch.

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  117. It doesn't serve much of a purpose if you think about it.
    I hope you can get your money back.

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  118. Well, I'm not sure how Amazon works with refunds, you should e-mail them. Sorry the Warden still isn't impressed with your skills.

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  119. I don't use twitter KB.. but if you know the name of that product I will check it out


    Wop.. my dad is suing an insurance co.. He was in an accident and now he is disabled. If the company didn't refuse to permit his initial doctor to do more surgeries his condition would not be as painful now...

    He is not going to give up on them.. His brother is a surgeon and he is working for my dad now.. he is going over all the medical statements and records. The company hired physicians are really dirty and they tried to refuse giving up the records!

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  120. What if this product makes the guys penis numb too?

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  121. I am studying...

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  122. did you read any of that book?

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  123. Well, I looked at the link again, and I'm at home now and it's on my browser, but nope, still haven't ready of that black magic you like.

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  124. you're too scared to read it!

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  125. No, just haven't read it. There are many sections to read.

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  126. I probably won't read it either.. The language of it is weird, but that is how Lovecraft trying to make it appear authentic.. old english translation, but the concept is scary. I read some more last night. I won't be able to read it all.. but you asked for the link..

    ReplyDelete
  127. I said it was scary.. so you wanted the link.. now I think you're just waiting for me to water it down, so you can read it and say it's not scary...

    ReplyDelete
  128. No, I'm pretty sure that's not what is happening.

    But I do thank you for the link.

    ReplyDelete
  129. OK.. I am on break.. entertain me!

    ReplyDelete
  130. You want me to do some magic tricks or what?

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  131. Your idea of magic:: pulling a hamster out of your ass

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  132. Your idea of an insult:: things that aren't funny.

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  133. There you go. You were entertained.

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  134. Astrid, what kind of an accident was your father involved in?

    ReplyDelete
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