Monday, June 28, 2010
Old Guy Dances to Lady Gaga
So CBT told some story about going to some country bumpkin joint and hooking up with some trailer skank and then he was acting like Arkansas is the mecca of fashion and trendsetting (in addition to be the only place that survives when the Apocalypse comes), so I can imagine when his delusions subside and he realizes he was dead wrong about Arkansas, this will be him in ten years when those in Hee Haw hear about Lady Gaga and start to play her music.
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CBT created this dance. This is just one guy trying his hardest to live up to the badass named CBT.
ReplyDeleteHe was probably doing those moves when the country was playing. No wonder that pig he hooked up with wanted him.
ReplyDeleteHe probably told her about the world imploding and he will keep her safe.
ReplyDeleteSafe? Trailer parks don't even survive tornadoes, what makes him think when the shit really hits the fan they are going to be safe?
ReplyDeleteIs he going to move to his cabin? The Big Bad Wolf could blow that place down.
THat puppy is so cute, FMB's mom has a mini-yorkie and I always try to steal her.
ReplyDeleteI do think it's cute you've met each others moms though. So there's that.
ReplyDeleteHis mom likes me a lot and I really like his mom too.
ReplyDeleteI think he must be aware of the top secret terrorist plot that Osama had in the works. He is planning to blow up every state except Arkansas. CBT thinks it's because Osama is intimidated by him.
ReplyDeleteThat's good Skeets. That's something to hang onto if you decide now's not the time to break it off. Just trying to help.
ReplyDeleteElfie I found a website for you... you can find you rich husband here
ReplyDeletehttp://mailorderhusbands.net/order/
seriously... that site can't be real can it?
I don't know if he's intimidated by him, I guess Osama figures if CBT can get chicks in Arkansas, so could he. I mean if you've been living in a cave for the last 10 years, you'd take an Arkansas woman too.
ReplyDeleteSkeets just needs to try out high end prostitution. She could probably get $1000-5000 each time.
ReplyDeleteAndrew is mine!!!!! So Astrid and Elfie back off.
ReplyDeleteI mean, if she's going to marry for money, it's not like she'll be in love. She'll have to fuck her husband just because, so she might as well get some variety and cash.
ReplyDeleteAstrid, you got it wrong. I think these are broke men looking for women with money.
ReplyDeleteYeah, can Skeets get on their and place an order for a rich guy? No, by the site name alone it's poor dudes looking for a wife.
ReplyDeleteSpurs, you should post your picture to this site and then just wait to have you email blown up by thousands if not millions of women.
ReplyDeleteI like the last one of the guy who is half price.
ReplyDeleteok...
ReplyDeletehttp://sugardaddie.com/
is that better?
I don't think I'll do that DG, but thanks for the bullshit advice.
ReplyDeleteNow you're using your head Astrid.
ReplyDeletehow does RQ meet all her boyfriends? maybe Elfie and have her seconds...
ReplyDeleteI think RQ goes to the 5 star nursing homes to meet her men.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good idea. When Giraffe is done milking them dry, Skeets can come in.
ReplyDelete'ol gramps is gettin' down okay for a geriatric :)
ReplyDeleteWhat's going on Maynard? I have to say, this guy is in pretty good shape to dancing around like that.
ReplyDeleteOMG Astrid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBachelor # 3 is a dreamboat! I'm snatching him up before someone else does
Elfie NO!!! I already claimed Andrew.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but we all know RQ's potential men would beeline for me giventhe opportunity... first of all I am sweet and not a crazy ass bitch and second I am about 20 yrs younger and 20 surgical procedures behind her.
ReplyDeleteDG... let's split the cost, he looks like the type to be a wild man in bed. We'll take turns.
ReplyDeleteI like Earls description:
ReplyDeleteName: Earl
I deal in reality...and the reality is that I'm ready for love. I can chop lots of wood and can even climb a greased pole. I keep in shape by chasing chickens around my back yard. I keep my self clean and take baths weekly.
Location: West Virginia, U.S.A.
what procedures has she had besides her boobs and penis removal?
ReplyDeleteYeah, you're right. Maybe you can buy one and I'll buy another since there are so many to choose from.
ReplyDeleteI only seen part of Elfie's one comment that said something about not being a crazy ass bitch and for a moment I thought lindsay stopped by.
ReplyDeleteCBT's real name must be Earl.
ReplyDeleteAstrid~ RQ's entire face and body is a poorly reassembled jigsaw puzzle.
ReplyDeletemy dog is sleeping and farting, and it stinks.. lol
ReplyDeleteI took the compatability quiz... this is who I got
ReplyDeleteHans of Hannover Germany
" 'German sailor seeks mermaid'.. During my long hours out at sea I often wonder if my soulmate is near or far. I have been successful at werk but not in love. Yes, I've had too much schnitzel but I have a sexy attitude and I'm not shy about my body."
WIth a picture of a fat guy in a speedo sitting on the edge of a boat. I always wanted a boyfriend who owned a boat.
That's good you found humor in it Astrid.
ReplyDeleteYou could be his mermaid Skeets.
ReplyDeleteMy match was Stan who is stationed in iraq. It was a normal profile. too boring to even copy and paste.
ReplyDeleteI got Stan too
ReplyDeleteI'm changing out my DDD Fredricks jumbo bra for some seashells and growing scales as we speak
ReplyDeleteI love this old guy's dance haha
DG and Astrid are boring, that's the conclusion with getting Stan.
ReplyDeleteyea.. too bad were are not psycho, then you'd be into us
ReplyDeleteI'm not into psycho chicks Astrid.
ReplyDeletedid you watch any games today spurs? I am going to watch the Brazilian game replay... I like that team, but the coach didn't pick one of my faviourite players, Ronaldinho
ReplyDeleteoh yea.. you are into skanks and future stippers, I forgot..
ReplyDeleteYou have mentioned a few times that you have been with some skanks..
No, I worked today Astrid.
ReplyDeleteWell, you have a point there Astrid.
ReplyDeleteyou should go to a CW bar and hook up with a chubby chick and show CBT that he ain't got shit to brag about... I would do it if I had a penis
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'll be stepping into a hick joint anytime soon Astrid.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you can find a future stripper there
ReplyDeleteAnd old beat up one maybe.
ReplyDeleteof course she will beat up and look like shit... the word "dignity" is not in a hicks vocabulary, and I just want you to prove to CBT he has no reason to brag
ReplyDeletenow go dip your stick in a fat chick, and come back with a story
*An* old
ReplyDeleteNo thanks Astrid.
He wouldn't have to do all that Astrid. He can be like CBT and just make a story up.
ReplyDeleteI don't think he made that chick up. I think he would have wrote about her like she was hot. Or maybe he thought that would have too much bullshit on the story.
ReplyDeleteHow was the burger and beer CBT?
ReplyDeleteAstrid, you don't need a penis to hook up with a cowgirl. Most of 'em like pussy, too.
ReplyDeleteDecent, like always. I wasn't in the mood to cook tonight.
ReplyDeleteThere you go Astrid. Better than fondling your cat.
ReplyDeleteOh, and CBT I don't have an XBox.
ReplyDelete"You have mentioned a few times that you have been with some skanks.."
ReplyDeleteSkanks lick taint. I've had two wives, I ain't lookin' for number three.
Dignity=no Goddamn fun, when your talkin' about women.
Good one CBT.
ReplyDeleteAstrid, ever holler "YEEEEHHHAAAAWWWWW!" when you cum. Or would your "dignity" not allow that?
ReplyDeleteI don't think CBT is a liar, he just exaggerates...
ReplyDeletehe goes to work, walks around the office while jacking off and aggressively humping the air/some invisible chick
then he comes online and says his secretary gave him a bj as a soon as he walked in the door
I think Astrid is 100% correct.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny Astrid.
ReplyDeleteThank y6ou Spurs. Apparently these "fBeImTaClHeSs" don't catch on to idea that I do not give a rosy ratfuck about the same shit they do. I ain't lookin' for a relationship. I don't wanna have to pretend to be sensitive and act like their migraine is my problem. In fact, if I'm talkin' to a female and she says "migrane" I'm outta there so fast I leave skid marks. When a chick is on the rag, I'm either stayin' at a hotel or sleepin' in a different room. If the bitch has a problem a $100 bucks won't fix, she ain't my type. Astrid, the reason you'd want to fuck me if me met is because I'd look you up and down and go, "EEEEWWWWW!" and walk off, even if you're, by some strange mathmatical anomally, hot.
ReplyDeleteElfie can have migranes and I would fetch her that faggy tea y'all enjoy and be happy to deo it.
It is beneath the "dignity" of a Southern man to argue with a person who has a vagina. Y'all go fix my supper now.
ReplyDeleteCBT,
ReplyDeleteJust curious, do you think you can fly?
You are a ladies man CBT.
ReplyDeleteAnd the secretary thing happened in late 2001, back when Britney Spears was still hot.
ReplyDeleteDG, I can't fly without peyote.
ReplyDeleteWhat up sluts?? This video is awesome.. This is the kind of bar-club I picture CBT and Drew spending there big pimping time in. Just look at all the talent in the background. Fat old chicks smoking cig's and young gay dudes watching there buddies doing a choregraphed dance with some old dude to lady gaga. That place is off da hook. Word on the street is Nik Richie's co-hosting that spot on Thursday along with the old dude. Ari, gayden, and fat chin JV are the featured dance crew of the night.
ReplyDeleteI am hungry for some cheesecake. I haven't ate all day today.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up Fl Anonymous. You're right, there is a lot of "talent" in the room. But that place can't afford Hollywood's $10,000 fee.
ReplyDeleteWhy haven't you EATEN all day today?
ReplyDeleteSpurs, most women are attracted to men who reject them. Nice guys marry young and trade sex in for food around age 30 (mashed potatoes don't complain that you're on their hair).
ReplyDeleteAm I the only motherfucker here that's been married longer than a TV season? Trust me, it ain't Ozzie and Harriet.
I don't know. I wasn't hungry until I saw a picture of cheesecake just now.
ReplyDeleteDG said...
ReplyDeleteCBT,
Just curious, do you think you can fly?
Hahhahahahahaha.. Fucking hiarious DG..
Don't make marriage seem bad CBT. DG wants to marry some pilot in Minnesota.
ReplyDeleteIs that what you tell yourself cbt? That's a good defense. That makes it always a win/win situation.
ReplyDeleteDG, I married young. Didn't make the trade though.
ReplyDeleteAsking me if I can fly was some funny shit. Sometimes I do believe I might be able to. I also grow 10 feet tal ande become bulletproof, once in a while.
ReplyDeleteHollywood took the deal. Ari signed the deal and all it took was Two 8 balls for Nik's wife and a all you can eat buffet for Dirty Scooby and a couple bottles of patron for hooman and some personal time for Ari and The Old Guy..Times are tough for the Dirty,,haha
ReplyDeleteCBT killed a man for a pair of boots.
ReplyDeleteCBT once Shot a man for talking funny.
It probably would take Shayne two 8 balls to get tweaked at this point.
ReplyDeleteI like nice guys... One of my ex's tried to talk really bad to me, and I mouthed off worse to him... made him look like a total bitch, and he never tried that again.
ReplyDeleteCBT if you really think women want assholes, then why do you try to convince us you are a gentlemen?
No cbt. I just didn't eat cuz I wasn't hungry. No reasoning behind it.
ReplyDeleteGreat question Astrid.
ReplyDelete"I am hungry for some cheesecake. I haven't ate all day today."
ReplyDeleteI am hungry for some cheesecake. I haven't EATEN all day today.
Since you're on me about ignorance, I thought you'd appreciate some guidance.
Astrid, I'm a gentleman trying to convince you I'm an asshole.
ReplyDeleteI already corrected her CBT.
ReplyDelete"No cbt. I just didn't eat cuz I wasn't hungry. No reasoning behind it."
ReplyDeleteThere never any logical reasoning behind what women do. Y'all have your own logic and it ain't right.
Astrid said...
ReplyDeleteCBT if you really think women want assholes, then why do you try to convince us you are a gentlemen?
Astrid you can't ask delusional people questions like that and expect real answers.
"Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteCBT killed a man for a pair of boots.
CBT once Shot a man for talking funny."
The reason shit like this bothers me is because killing someone from close enough to see them die really sucks. I walked away from my chilhood dream so I'd never have to do it or see it again.
the type of girls who want you after you reject them, are just girls who have no self confidence..
ReplyDeleteCongratulations for taking advantage of little girls after you tear down, I guess.. you are an asshole CBT, not a gentlemen
Spurs, the correction was funnier coming from me, the hillbilly.
ReplyDeleteIt was CBT.
ReplyDeleteAstrid, I don't tear them down. I find the ones who've been torn down and try to build them back up. I've spent a lot more money on tuition than plastic tits.
ReplyDeleteSpurs, I understand English, very well.
ReplyDeleteI just can't spell and I puncuate shit like they did in the King James version of the Bible.
ReplyDeleteCBT's like a philanthropist Astrid.
ReplyDeleteYes, that King James writing is impossible to duplicate.
ReplyDeleteSPURS FAN said...
ReplyDeleteCBT's like a philanthropist Astrid.
June 28, 2010 8:22 PM
SPURS FAN said...
Yes, that King James writing is impossible to duplicate.
Hahahahah.. Classic
I am a philanthropist. I make my hos go to class.
ReplyDeleteThanks Fl Anonymous, but to be fair to CBT that King James writing would be really hard to try to do.
ReplyDeleteWhy didnt you bother to correct 'cuz' too?
ReplyDeleteVerily, Master Spurs, I say to thee,; Go forth and fetcheth my angels many a burrito from yon Del Taco.
ReplyDeleteCBT said..
ReplyDeleteAstrid, the reason you'd want to fuck me if me met is because I'd look you up and down and go, "EEEEWWWWW!" and walk off, even if you're, by some strange mathmatical anomally, hot.
Astrid, I'm a gentleman trying to convince you I'm an asshole.
and then you explained to spurs that most women are attracted to men who reject them...
so make up your fucking mind... which one is it? are you an asshole you tears down a little girl's self confidence as a way to manipulate her into fucking you, or are you the knight and shining armored, nice guy.. who makes all the little girls feel special??
You can only teach a simpleton one trick at a time DG. Like a dog.
ReplyDeleteThat sucked CBT.
ReplyDeleteCBT does all the hiring for the local run down strip club in his hillbilly town. He's saving lives one at a time. A true modern day hero.
ReplyDeleteGI Joe has nothing on CBT.
ReplyDeleteI have another real issue; Vaginas being referred to as tacos. Every taco I ever seen had some green, red and runny white shit in the slit and some greasy stuff drippin' out the bottom. If you see a vagina like that, my guess is that you'd best put your jeans back onn and run like the proverbial stripe assed ape.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have strip joint here. Saint Peter the Fisherman, First Baptist and the Church of Christ got too much power here. They got us Methodists outnumbered.
ReplyDeleteSo where is chubby trailer tonight cbt? Packing her bags to move in to the cabin?
ReplyDeleteGood one DG. And I think the black chick is going to be visiting CBT soon too.
ReplyDeleteso CBT is ignoring me now.. guess he can't address the fact that he is as much of a gentlemen as Joe Francis or Ari Golden
ReplyDeleteCBT is scheduled to appear in Iron Man 3.
ReplyDeleteI'm not ignoring you Astrid. I just type slow tonight.
ReplyDeleteCBT is the reason why Chuck Norris Retired
ReplyDeleteFunny Fl Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteNaw, DG. That was simply dick and pussy.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though CBT, isn't that black chick coming to visit soon?
ReplyDeleteHey Chuck ain't retired. He' hawkin' exercise shit on QVC.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Wednesday. I'm meeting her in West Plains.
ReplyDeleteAnd shhhh, swhe hasn't figured out she's black yet. She still has a tanning membership.
ReplyDeleteCBT is the new Chuck Norris. We should start making some CBT jokes.
ReplyDeleteCBT gives her sexy time when she's on break from working in his back yard. So pretty much she works all day.
ReplyDeleteI thought you had mentioned you were going to see her at the end of the month CBT.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up EV?
ReplyDeleteCBT is unaware slavery ended a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteI'd venture to say June 30th would be the end of the month, wouldn't you Spurs?
ReplyDelete"CBT is unaware slavery ended a long time ago."
ReplyDeleteTrust me, I'm very aware of it.
Yeah prick I would.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Rudi Huxtable is dangerous to me because she can wrap me.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean? Sucker you?
ReplyDeleteNothing much, Spurs. You?
ReplyDeleteHey Spurs, wouldn't hangin' out on the point with me have been a blast?
ReplyDeleteWrap me around her little finger. Control me, to a degree, anyway.
ReplyDeleteHey EV, you ought to be nice to me, I got some seriously good rabbit tobacco.
ReplyDeleteI was also reading this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nydailynews.com/news/2010/06/22/2010-06-22_texas_gop_platform_criminalize_gay_marriage_and_ban_sodomy_outlaw_strip_clubs_an.html#ixzz0sCOFPL3C
Some of those good ol' boys are just hell bent on busting your balls.
You should also be nice to CBT because soon our world is going to implode and he will be our hero.
ReplyDeleteYeah CBT, I admit you'd be pretty cool to hang out with.
ReplyDeleteTexas has had a propensity fror facism since the Bush as Govenor days.
ReplyDeleteYou know why Baptists won't have sex standin' up?
ReplyDeleteThey're afraid somebody might think they're dancin'.
Oh yeah DG, I forgot about that.
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah?
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me, Spurs. How has that sack been treating you?
I saw something about that earlier today EV.
ReplyDeleteGreat, thanks for asking EV. It treated me very well about ten minutes ago.
ReplyDelete"You should also be nice to CBT because soon our world is going to implode and he will be our hero."
ReplyDeleteY'all got me fucked up. I ain't gonna be nobody's hero if that shit happens. I'm gonna hunker down and hope the Dishnetwork comes back on someday. I have no desire to live like a frontiersman. I just have the ability to.
Spurs, did you smoke it out of a corncob from Walgreen's?
ReplyDeleteNo, it's a nice glass blown pipe CBT.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, I've thought about that too CBT. It would suck having no cable or internet access. I'd just start reading a ton of books.
ReplyDeleteDid you see that shit about Vick?
ReplyDeleteI started smokin' from a corncob as a sorta joke back in college and it stuck.
ReplyDeleteNo EV, what happened?
ReplyDeleteI should try one out CBT.
ReplyDeleteI read a lot when I was a kid. We only got two channels (that was ok because there was only three back then anyway), one fuzzy.
ReplyDeleteI could see you smoking out of a corncob pipe, CBT. Being from Walgreens just adds the extra touch.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we had cable CBT, but there were hardly any channels.
ReplyDeleteApparently one of his co-defendants during the dog fighting case was shot at a place he was holding a party at. Everywhere I saw it posted, people were running with it claiming how he's done and this and that. Today, it's not even on the top stories on ESPN, and it's been updated to say he wasn't even present when it happened. I just got a laugh at all the Vick haters coming out.
ReplyDeleteSpurs, if you do, pull the filter out of the stem, put in a screen and be careful. It'll blow your head smooth off. The stem's long enough for the smoke to cool. Easy to overtoke.
ReplyDeleteI didn't hear about that EV.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to find some more political books to read.
ReplyDeleteI've been over to ESPN quite a few times over the last couple of days, I'm glad they didn't make a big deal of it.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds fun CBT.
ReplyDeleteIt drew my attention because, well, that's my backup QB. He needs to keep his shit straight for at least two years, or however long he's an Eagle.
ReplyDeleteOvertoke on a corncob pipe? The hell were you smoking out of before that?
ReplyDeleteA bong or EZwiders, back when they only came in banana flavor.
ReplyDeleteThis conversation is so not anything i relate to. I'm going to actually go eat now. Not because I'm hungry but because of CBT's wisdom.
ReplyDeleteYEah exactly... I thought about saying something but I had nothing even closely relating to any of this mumbo-jumbo
ReplyDeleteCongrats on letting his wisdom sink in DG.
ReplyDeleteMumbo-jumbo? Good one Skeets.
ReplyDeleteDG, I want to fuck you for your brain. You are a smart bitch, and you got a really nice set of pins.
ReplyDeleteYeah... whatever. I'm in a pissy mood, I think I'll go for a 2 night run and drink another Chelada... or maybe some Sangria.
ReplyDeleteThis is simply my version of talking soccer.
ReplyDeletePut a shot of Everclear in your bottle of Sangria, Elfie. You'll be glad you did.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you in a pissy mood Skeets?
ReplyDeleteo
ReplyDeleteElfie, come back! I have blackberry pie.
ReplyDeleteShe's still pissed at FMB, whatcha bet?
ReplyDeleteI'd say that's probably it.
ReplyDeleteBlackberry pie is like crack to hillbillys, of course, so is meth apparently.
ReplyDeleteDidn't you write one time there's a lot of meth in some area around you?
ReplyDeleteFyi. If you do a Dutch Oven on a chick she is automatically your girlfriend. You've committed. I did not know this and it's how I became entangled with Flo. When I was her age, that was you run one off.
ReplyDeleteYEah still mad at FMB... he sent me a text saying if I was ignoring him because I thought he was ignoring me and telling me to call him later. And I was like like "no, you fucking idiot... I'm ignoring you cause you are a fucking jerk." and he was like "ok well if I dont talk to you tonight or tomorrow I'll get the hint and move on, have a nice night." what a fucking idiot
ReplyDelete*that was how you run one off.*
ReplyDeleteI wasa talkin' about over in Madison County, two counties west from here.
ReplyDeleteDamn, FMB was pretty cold on that on Skeets.
ReplyDeleteI expect Elfie can be a bit difficult, but worth the trouble.
ReplyDeleteMaybe.
ReplyDelete"no, you fucking idiot... I'm ignoring you cause you are a fucking jerk."
ReplyDeleteAnd she can be pretty direct, too.
She can be. I give her credit for that line.
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDelete200.
ReplyDelete