Monday, July 19, 2010

Humor by Elfie



Elfie e-mailed this to me, it's becoming apparent that she has some type of connection with crackheads. She's already scratched out fireman and midget rappers, why not take a turn with a crackhead?

300 comments:

  1. I do like the move the guy does at the 5:42 mark, I need to try to figure out a good time to bust that out myself.

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  2. Not much EV, smoked a couple of bowls, feel good. What's going on?

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  3. Not much, looking for a new mother board.

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  4. It's cheaper for me to buy a new mother board and load it up with stuff I have than it would be to buy a nice video card that fits my current PC.

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  5. Where are you trying to buy it?

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  6. I've been looking on newegg, and I'm going to go to Fry's electronics sometime today or tomorrow.

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  7. You ever read any of those books you bought?

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  8. Yeah, I finished the Clinton book and I'm about half way through the Contrarian one.

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  9. haha double time now!!!!!!

    Posting lag.

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  10. No, the system thinks so much of your comments it feels the need to post them twice Skeets.

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  11. Pretty good. Also found some sources of other books I want to read now.

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  12. RH - rebound head. No reciprocation necessary. My little way of helping a friend get through a tough time.

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  13. That's crazy that he actually won being that fucked up. I like how he is all up on Vanna.

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  14. That was great. And how long do you think he kept that car before he sold it for nothing?

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  15. I don't think he is actually a crack-head, pretty sure he is autistic or as RQ would say an "idiot savant"

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  16. I don't need any rebound head Wop, thanks though.

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  17. No, he was not autistic. He is definitely on something. Look at the way Pat has to hang on to him and the way he leans too close into Vanna.

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  18. and Sours... I already took a turn with a crackhead, he's the father of my children. YAY for poor judgement!

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  19. My bad Skeets. I don't know what I was thinking. Wasn't he the rapper too?

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  20. Well if you ever want to try out a scumbag, CBT and Drew are available.

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  21. I think he is defintely autistic... they don't understand social cues, hence the inappropriate mauling of Vanna and watch how he avoids eye contact with Pat at all costs. Autism for sure.


    Sours~ The rapper was just someone I dated, my ex was not a rapper he was a tagger turned drug addict... get it right!

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  22. Now I have it Skeets. I won't forget the dating history.

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  23. I liked the hills finale. i'm going to miss that show.

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  24. Thanks for the review. I'm sad I missed every episode of the show.

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  25. DG, I am not a scumbag, at least not when compared with Drew.

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  26. DG's just angry again CBT, don't pay any attention to her.

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  27. Have you ever actually watched the Hills? Sat through a full episode?

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  28. DG, my ex wife called me the sweetest scumbag she'd ever met.

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  29. You've sit all the way through an episode of "The Hills", EV? Gay.

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  30. DG's angry? Why, did her imaginary Columbian doctor decide RQ was a better effort?

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  31. I'll take sitting through the Hills over paying an electric bill for pussy.

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  32. EV, you won't when you're my age.

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  33. Spurs, I still can't believe you'd take RQ over a gunshot to the head.

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  34. What makes you think I'll be paying for young pussy while my kids grow up in fatherless homes when I'm your age?

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  35. Fuck I'd rather pay rent and an electric bill than sit through the load of crap they called "The Hills".

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  36. EV, never try to guess the future.

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  37. And EV, never judge someone until you've walked a mile in their moccasins. At your age, I wouldn't have thought I'd gom through three quarters of the shit I've been through, either. You talk to me when your ears have dired out, boy.

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  38. Angry? What am I angry about?

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  39. Shut the hell up, CBT. It doesn't take much to avoid the path you've chosen.

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  40. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  41. DG and EV, y'all go fuck y'selves. Ain't like anyone else will.

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  42. I know I don't have any issues and I doubt EV does either. And neither one of us has to pay for it.

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  43. EV, when I was your age, I had 40 solidiers under my command. I'd been through some of the Army's toughest training. What is you do? Hang sheetrock? Fuck you and the horse you rode up on.

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  44. Sorry cbt, your life is just not inspirational. Stop acting like it is just because you are 73 yrs old.

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  45. DG's just another vagina with a smart mouth.

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  46. DG, does it bother you that even though I'm 73, you'd have to pay me?

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  47. Falling back on your military achievements have become a pattern when your backed into a corner.

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  48. DG, I realized awhile back my life is inspirational. I'm a perfect example of what no one should aspire to, except for other cowboys.

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  49. Why would it bother me if I never offered?

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  50. Why don't you make one last attempt at being a man and take care of your kids?

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  51. EV, my "military achievements" have let me see and have more life than a sheetrock hanger in Scottsdale can even imagine.

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  52. So what cbt. You were in the military. EV is what...30 years younger than you. He is plenty of time to do and see more than you ever could have.

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  53. I know you just sit in your cabin and smoke weed everyday and try and get with girls that only want your money.

    I wouldn't say that is father material.

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  54. I visited 48 states and 4 countries before I was 12. No military service needed.

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  55. If anything, it made me very, very selective in the places I wish to visit.

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  56. DG, I've seen the sun rise and set on 4 continents. I've served my country with America's finest, the 82nd Airborne. I've fucked women, for free, that make you look like Jeanine Garafolo. I've hunted and been hunted by men with guns that desired nothing less than my death. I've had and lost the love of a woman who's ass u wouldn't be a pimple on. I fathered the two most beautiful children in the world. EV can gto hang more sheetrock and you can go chase foreigners who're are after you for a green card.

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  57. "Eazy V said...
    If anything, it made me very, very selective in the places I wish to visit."

    You have the soul of an old man. I'll go anywhere I've never been before at any time, just to see what's there. I have a young man's soul.

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  58. EV, in general, I have a positive image of you. I attribute your critizisn of me to a lack of life experience.

    As far as all the places you've been? DG's been to Arkansas, but Arkansas ain't what you see from an RV campground or a gas station parking lot.

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  59. Belittling my position to "hanging sheetrock"might offend me if it weren't coming from a small time air peddler and car salesman.

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  60. I don't care where you've been cbt or care that you were front line in the military. In all reality, even if you were my age I would never consider dating you because you way below my standards.

    Truth is you have more interest in chasing some 20yr old black girl than spending time with your kids. So go ahead and throw all your tough military stories out there. It still does not take away from the fact you do not take care of your kids. I cannot respect anyone that does that and thinks it's ok.

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  61. "Spurs, I still can't believe you'd take RQ over a gunshot to the head."

    A gunshot is a little extreme CBT.

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  62. Anyway, Spurs wants to fuck Rocket Queen. He said so on the last post. Hear that Queenie? There's actually a mon out there that wants you.

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  63. I'm sure you never intended or saw yourself where you are, and I'm sure it didn't just happen overnight. Doesn't change the fact that where you are is a result of your outlook and life decisions, not mine.

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  64. I have been all over arkansas and 44 other states cbt. If I thought arkansas was great, I would live there.

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  65. Spurs, I'd take the gunshot. I'd opt out for Rexic's little sister though.

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  66. DG, I think "obstinate cunt" is better than furry snout.

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  67. "Belittling my position to "hanging sheetrock"might offend me if it weren't coming from a small time air peddler and car salesman."

    That was good EV.

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  68. "Doesn't change the fact that where you are is a result of your outlook and life decisions, not mine."

    Exactly, EV.

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  69. Yes CBT, RR's little sister wasn't bad.

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  70. Okay DG, you ever eaten breakfast at a diner in Crosset on a Saturday morning? How about a high school graduation in Russellville? Maybe a political rally in Slovak?

    What makes you a stupid bitch is that you're superficial. You can't see past the exterior to a person's heart. Malls matter to you more than strength.

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  71. Evening, I see everyone is in a jolly mood. Spurs, I'm thinking the gunshot would be less painfull

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  72. I'm gonna get Rudy's thug wannabe little brother to track down Rexic. Ashley Blair is Rexic's first and middle name. Her last name is Walton or Waldron, something like that. Rudy told me. after I showed her pictures, that she's seen the little sister working as a waitress at one of the bars in downtown STL. Rudy won't go to Lure because she doesn't like black folks.

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  73. Is pucker really in sex rehab or is that some made up shit?

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  74. Where the hell is Miss Texas? There's a vagina I'd spend bucks on to get up into.

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  75. Chunky gals always seem to have pretty feet.

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  76. I saw that Dirtyhater. I think that's made up.

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  77. DG, I'm neither hearless or deadbeat. I'll no argue the last one.

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  78. Yes cbt. Run to Stl and track down rr instead of taking your kids to the park. Priorities...

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  79. Wha he fuck's up wih my "' key?

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  80. how old are your kids CBT?

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  81. He probably doesn't know.

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  82. I don't get why you still chase brain-dead young tail instead of finding an older woman with character, CBT.

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  83. It's because cbt has no character himself. The older women probably don't want him.

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  84. older women with character? Is that a new way of saying menopause?

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  85. I was widowed at age 45 and I'll tell you from experience, dating women in their mid to late forties sucks. Way to much baggage from thier divorces or they are nuts from hormone imbalance

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  86. "dirtyhater said...
    older women with character? Is that a new way of saying menopause?"

    I really like this guy.

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  87. You didn't paint a very pretty picture of the dating scene at that age dirtyhater.

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  88. DG, I don't like women my age because they're either fat and bitter or had lots of plastic surgery and bitter.

    Shit, Rocket Queen is a perfect example of the latter.

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  89. Dh, I'm sorry for your loss.

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  90. "SPURS FAN said...
    You didn't paint a very pretty picture of the dating scene at that age dirtyhater."

    That's why I pay the young un's rent.

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  91. Thanks CBT, and thanks for your service to our country.

    It's not spurs, from either parties viewpoint.

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  92. Back in a while

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  93. C'mon DG, you're the fuckin' genius at other people's lives. Tell me what to do.

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  94. You don't see them anyway. So you may as well let them go. Now if you were actually in their lives daily and you did things like feed them, play with them, and teach them things that only parents can do if they cared enough for them to be around them, I would insist them staying near you.

    So as a woman, I would choose to take care of my kids and never miss milestones that can only be seen once. I think that is a much better option than chasing stupid people using me for my money and smoking weed every night.

    Like I said, priorities cbt. What are yours?

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  95. Women are crazy in their mid forties. I work with a couple of them.

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  96. Dh, I appreciate the sentiment, believe me I do, but never say that again. I spent 8 and a half months killing Nicaraguan patriots while allied with a bunch of drug and gun running thugs Reagan threw money at because they claimed to be anti-communist.

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  97. You think you'll get crazy in your mid forties DG?

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  98. C'mon DG, tell me what to do or shut the motherfucking hell up about my girls and my fatherhood skills forever. You're so Godammned smart you solve that one.

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  99. Nah... I will be happily married to Dr. Escobar. But I think I'm really too laid back to ever be crazy. Being crazy seems like it takes up too much wasted energy.

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  100. All women are crazy. The ones in their mid 40s are crazy and look like hell.

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  101. I think you just don't like RQ because your hick charm doesn't work on her.

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  102. I just told you what to do CBT if I were you. I would actually take care of my kids. Not just send a check. I would teach them how to ride a bike, how to play catch, how to tie a shoe, etc. A check cannot do that. A check cannot show love and affection.

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  103. The idea is to weed out the lazy and worthless before your too old to be picky.

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  104. How am I delusional? Are your kids with you now? What did you make them for dinner? How many diapers did you change today?

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  105. Twice a month wouldn't be enough for me if I had a kid. Then again, I could just be speaking from foolish lack of experience.

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  106. "DG aid...

    I just told you what to do CBT if I were you. I would actually take care of my kids. Not just send a check. I would teach them how to ride a bike, how to play catch, how to tie a shoe, etc. A check cannot do that. A check cannot show love and affection."

    DG that ain't what I asked. What I want to know is is it selfish of me to want to be able to all the stuff you talked about when I know that sending her and her mother 2000 miles away is better for everyone except me in the long run.

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  107. If I were you cbt, I would log off the internet right now and get my kids. I would make sure they are under the same roof every chance I got. I would be the one to put a bandaid on their knee when they fell and the one to hug them when they cry.

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  108. It's not better to send them away. It's only better to send them away if you don't feel like taking care of them.

    So the question is DO YOU WANT TO PHYSICALLY TAKE CARE OF THEM? Or just rid yourself of them and use the 2000 mile distance as your excuse not to raise them?

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  109. EV, In reality I'm quite fond of the Rocket Queen. She's M'lady, e-wise, even though I'd rather take a .45 round to the head than stick my dick in her.

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  110. DG, if it werte up to me I'd have them both living here in Mountain Home where I can truly take care of them, both ways. That ain't gonna happen. Tiff in Little Rock without me there to take of her is a problem. That affects Briley. The negative influences on Tiff in LR are absent in California. Better Mother, better life for Briley, plus the love of a dozen aunts and uncles, in CA.

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  111. "DO YOU WANT TO PHYSICALLY TAKE CARE OF THEM? Or just rid yourself of them and use the 2000 mile distance as your excuse not to"

    I wish it was that simple, Shelley.

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  112. Excuses cbt. Keep making them if that's how you want to justify it. Why don't you find a fatherless kid and ask them if they wish their father was in their life?

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  113. I wouldn't sell Giraffe short CBT. She's going to be a nurse, she can take care of you while you go through dementia.

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  114. Where the fuck is kb when I need her? Although I'm sure her solution would involove anal beads and tricking the warden into taking out the garbage.

    MTQT and Elfie have the most real life experience here, and they both have good hearts, albiet hearts buried really deep under two sets of some awesome titties.

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  115. CBT, how old are your babies momma's and what was your "situation" when they got pregnant?

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  116. It is that simple, Roy. Take care of your damn kids. You are old and settled. You even have it easier than most people in their 20's having kids. My dad was 41 when I was born. He bought me things, took me places, and always brought me a toy or candy when he came home from work everyday. I remember always being so excited when he got home. I remember hugging him when I was no taller than his knee. He carried me around like I was a princess. Always proud to introduce me to everyone and brought me everywhere he could to show me off.

    Now that is a father.

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  117. Quit kissing ass, CBT. Neither of them are going to materialize out of your computer monitor and fuck you.

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  118. I have plenty of life experience to know what a father is and is not cbt. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

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  119. EV, I never kiss ass to get laid. I don't expect to get fucked by either of them, ever. I happen to like and respect their real world experiences. Those girls, especially Elifie, grew up hard. MTQT has her family to help, something I've gleaned Elfie doesn't.

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  120. CBT, how many times must I repeat myself. DO NOT SEND THEM AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS. BE A FATHER.

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  121. Okay, thank you. Short of kidnapping them at gunpoint, how do I get a girl more hard headed than you to move to Mountain Home when she wants to be back in LA?

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  122. MTQT sure does seem like one of the downtrodden, alright.

    Did you ignore my question, or do you just not want to answer it?

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  123. Great point CBT. I guess I cannot give you advice because I grew up with a father and did not live 'hard'.

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  124. Well, she decided to have kids with a scumbag like you so now she cannot leave. That's her problem. Tell her to make herself comfortable for the next 16 years.

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  125. TeXaS isn't "downtrodden" EV, but nice choice of words.

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  126. EV, I missed your question. The oldest daughter's not an issue now. She's 3 and is starting to understand I'm more than jusy "Uncle Roy". I have decent rapport with her grandparents (my age) now. That took 3 years. My ex wife has stopped stirring shit up with Ella's momma's grandmother and her probation office.

    My youngest is the issue. Her mother just turned 22. Briley is 20 months old (to see her look under CBT's (or Cowboy Trout's) Girl post on this site. Momma broke up with her boyfriend in February. I have since gotten her an apartment, a car and a job, in addition to the $500 minimum she gets in child support. Now her oldest sister, who is the secretary to the Terminators secretary, has offerred to pay pay Momma's college if she'll move back to Sacramento, where she's from. Momma has a bunch of partier friends in Little Rock, good kids, but kinda wild. Her sister can control her better than I can and make her act right. That's better for my daughter. And don't tell me to try and get custody of my daughter. That ain't gonna happen in Pulaski County, Arkansas. Here in Baxter County, no problem. That's why Momma won't move here.

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  127. DG, that's cool. You were one of the lucky ones, like me. My parents have been married 60 years. My point is, don't critize me when I 'm having to deal with shit that you couldn't deal with if you were in my position. I don't give you advice on what to do when you find your boyfriend just proposed because his visa expired.

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  128. DG, you will die an old maid, like Rocket Queen.

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  129. Spurs, which comment did you mean?

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  130. I ask, CBT, because I don't fall into that mentality that it's always the male's fault. Some guys, quite a few of them, are cowards. It doesn't permit a woman to go through with a pregnancy when the Dad is AWOL, or an unfit parent, just because she's not in the wrong.

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  131. When I was 3 I knew my dad as 'daddy'. Never 'uncle'. That's fucked up, cbt. No wonder why you are a drunk. I would be depressed too knowing my kids don't know who I am.

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  132. her uncle is her daddy? good way to fuck up your kids mind cbt.

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  133. I have no problem dating. Nor am I bitter or jaded about any of my past relationships. But I cannot and will not respect someone who does not have interest in taking care of their kids.

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  134. what really irks me is that you need a license to fish but not to have kids. cbt is a prime example of why we should tho.

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  135. Wait....

    CBT is referring to 'momma' as his baby's mother. And his kid calls him uncle.

    Now cbt refers to his sister as 'big momma'.

    Now I get it. momma and big momma are the same person which is why cbt is called uncle and daddy.

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  136. dg, more than likely. you have to remember that they are in the south and shit flows downward.

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  137. Now it all makes sense. It's the south!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HagzTRmUBIE&feature=related

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  138. i wonder how many times cbt might have already drank your piss when you were living in chicago? every time you would flush the toilet his sink would work.

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  139. DG, is your daddy 30 years older than your mother?

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  140. I'm on the fence with families that have a shitton of kids. I used to think of it as irresponsible, until my friend introduced me to the rest of his family. Awesome genes. I'm actually kind of disappointed that they didn't have a few more.

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  141. her dad isnt 30 years younger cbt. that child rape shit is only accepted in the south.

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  142. His sister is one of the few things that sway me to believe in a creator. Surely, that could not be no accident.

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  143. DG, I'm neither a drunk nor depressed. Life is what it is. Living beats the alternative, and I've seen the alternative up close. When I can no longer live, then I will choose to die.

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  144. ugh...here comes the lame cowboy poetry. thats enough for me to call it a night.

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  145. In your kids eyes you may as well been the alternative.

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  146. DG, my hometown is full of people from Chicago. They are , by and large, the most racist, whiny, obnoxious, rude, low life piecesw of shit I have ever seen. Chicoans make Bostonites seem like positve harbringers ofr glory. Sp fuck you and your Chicago upbringing, unless you're a Pollack. Pollacks is good folks.

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  147. My dad is 7 years older than my mom. He also never left her because she was no longer 25. He is more of a man than you will ever be.

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  148. Hey Anonymous, lick 'pon my unwashed taint and savor the day's Gold Bond residue.

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  149. Are you saying you are now a GB man, CBT?

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  150. DG, I didn't leave my wife because she didn't look 25 because at 36, she still did. I left her because she started going to church and hanging out with folks in their 70s. Well, that and the fact she run me outta the house at gunpoint when she found out I was fucking Christel.

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  151. If the south sucks so bad and chicago and new york and so on are so great, why do so many people leave those big ugly cities and move to the south? I ask the same question of mexicans, if it's so wonderful, why are they all here?

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  152. EV, a GB man? Decipher, please.

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  153. Check out your kids future statistics:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQAIbBb1vQs

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  154. Hey Ev, I knowe you're a Gold Bond Guy, som some advice, never get the green bottle (extra strength) stuff on the head of your pecker. You will do a dance that will make it rain when that shit kicks in.

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  155. FG, I bet my little southern city has a higher percentage of advanced degrees then anywhere you have ever lived. But then again we design missles and rockets here so we have real rocket scientists.

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  156. As in you are one of the blessed ones who have achieved Nirvana. Otherwise known as applying Gold Bond.

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  157. I just caught GB, EV. I was a GB man when you were still pissin' diapersw.

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  158. Dh, where the hell are you? NCTR in Pine Bluff?

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  159. I generally try to avoid getting any on the shaft at all. I'm told it doesn't taste very good.

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  160. DH, I can care less about advanced degrees. My cousin is a rocket scientist. Big deal.

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  161. I had a feeling you would use a line like that, CBT.

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  162. I like the outdoors. That's why I live where I live now.

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  163. I think that was accidently kinda a compliment.

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  164. No CBT, huntsville.

    Yea it is a big deal DG, on a lot of levels, from supporting your family to doing something useful with your life. Not that hanging drywall is not useful but it not what most aspire to. Just an example EV

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  165. Spurs, you need to join the cool crowd of two-three letter monikers. CBT, DG, kb, EV, MTQT, RQ, the list goes on. Elfs also needs to get with the programs.

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  166. Anon, for you:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAwyOdEaAdY

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  167. There are plenty of other jobs out there other than rocket scientist to support your family. I'm not a rocket scientist and support myself just fine.

    But let me rethink this. Choose to live where I want to because I enjoy the outdoors or choose to live by some rocket scientists.

    I think I like my choice better.

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  168. Besides DH, I am not a gold digger and do not need to be supported. I choose to do what I want, when I want.

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  169. I'm pretty sure high profile jobs are more dense in areas that have, you know, a large market. Which rules out some of the rural areas.

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  170. Sorry to intimidate you spurs. I know it's so wrong to be able to take care of myself and not need to be saved.

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  171. Sorry, I think I was giving you enough credit to understand my point but you prefer to debate on an immature level, but you do seem to be here more then you are outdoors. Just sayin

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  172. I'm not trying to be a superhero DG, so go on with your bad self.

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  173. Really DH? May 24-28 I was in the bottom of the Grand Canyon. June 9-12 I was camping in Malibu. July 1st I was paragliding off of a mountain. July 2-3 I was backpacking. July 15-17 I was back in cali in Santa Monica and took a trip to 6 flags. In two weeks I am spending a week in Sedona. Oh btw, at 6am I am hiking mountains 3-4 days a week and also doing bikram yoga 3-4 days a week.

    So DH....you don't know me very well. Just sayin...

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  174. In some respects you are right EV but this city is less than 200,000 people but is very high tech and diverse.

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  175. In some respects? You mean like, in just about all instances?

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  176. Your point was very weak. Comparing where I live to advanced degree jobs?

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  177. And yet you still posted on here most of those days? Must have been having a blast

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