Tiger Woods is banned from letting girlfriends near his kids in a divorce deal netting his ex a record $750 million settlement, The Sun reported Wednesday. The golfer agreed to keep single women away from daughter Sam, three, and son Charlie, one. He can bring a new flame into their lives only if he marries her. In return, former wife Elin Nordegren ,30, gets the biggest payout ever seen in a celebrity divorce. But she can never publicly speak out over his alleged flings with socialite Rachel Uchitel, reality star Jaimee Grubbs, porn queen Joslyn James and up to 17 others.
A pal said: "Elin is desperate to protect the children from the womanizing side of their father. Tiger's main fear is her telling her story after he's rebuilt his reputation, sending him back to the gutter."
Swedish ex model Nordegren ended up with double the sum she originally sought, after her lawyers proved Woods, 34, was worth much more than the $1billion she thought.
Her friend explained: "Elin's legal team have done a great job digging up all sorts of assets.
"The price of the huge sum is her silence: no interviews, tell-all books, or TV appearances about this for the rest of her life -- even if Tiger dies first -- or she'll lose the lot."
I know this Tiger Woods story is about as played as DG meeting the "Perfect Guy" again (is this guy deaf? Only way I see it working out this time), but I just think this is awful. $750 million? She was a nobody before she hooked up with this guy, and I doubt she was out on the practice range for 15 hours a day hitting golf balls.
She spawned 2 of his alien babies (granted they are pretty cute right now) and he married her, she is accustomed to living a certain lifestyle... why should that change because he chose to cheat on her?
ReplyDeleteMy comment teleported from one post to another! haha
ReplyDeleteIn the inspiring words of Ivana Trump
"Don't get even, get EVERYTHING!"
You don't think she could have a great lifestyle for $50 million. It sounds like she took over half his net worth. You think she deserves more than half his money? Fuck no she doesn't. So she put in 18 months worth of work (two kids), and that's more important than the 30 years he's worked on golf?
ReplyDeleteI like the link on your name too Skeets. I can help you out with that.
ReplyDelete50 Mil for a lifetstyle she is used to living would not last long... and yeah he may have worked 30 years to get his billion dollar fortune but really did he deserve billions for hitting a little ball into a hole? Naw. Neither of them really DESERVE that money for what they've done for it... you make a moot point.
ReplyDeleteShe's brought ZERO earnings to that relationship. The only reason why you think it's a good deal is because you're a woman Skeets.
ReplyDeleteIt's not all about earnings... who do you think raises his kids when he is gone constantly? THE NANNIES DO! haha ok yeah she probably doesn't do shit but honestly he had to have known that cheating would more than likely cause a divorce and a resulting HUGE payout. Not her fault he was such a dumbass.
ReplyDeleteWell, you have a point, but she didn't have to go for that much money. It shows how greedy she is just because she's a lousy lay and he lost interest in her. Not his fault she sucks in bed or wouldn't bring any other chicks in. She wanted the easy lifestyle, she should have done her part.
ReplyDeleteAs I said she doesn't deserve that money anymore than he does but in a normal marriage where the wife stays home and the husband works the wife is ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY deserving of half of the husbands earnings... the sacrifices a wife has to make to be a stay at home mom are worth just as much as the husband's actual earnings from going to work everyday are.
ReplyDeleteThat's a cute little fairy tale you just told.
ReplyDeleteWhatever Sours... I am going to marry some schelp and then take him for all he is worth, I wont even let him knock me up
ReplyDeleteGive me a break, Sours. As if playing a sport as your profession is so effing hard. Him marrying her and having kid's is what helped his image, which he cashed in on, so she does deserve some of his money.
ReplyDeletePoint is, don't fuck over a woman in that way--hell, in any way-if you don't want her to fuck you back.
This bitch is now awesome according to me (only opinion that matters).
You really are becoming keen to the idea of marrying a rich man, aren't you Skeets? Better get rid of FMB.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure she doesn't get all this in cash, it is probably in assets.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up Miami? Long time no see. How have you been? When I was reading your "bitch bumped her head" I thought you were talking about Elfie. But Elin's bumped her head as well. And yeah, that one legged freak took Paul for a ride.
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with the image part at all kinkyb!tch. He would have gotten those endorsements whether he was married or not. And you can't compare a lifetime of practice and dedication to some Swedish whore spreading her legs.
ReplyDeleteI bet you guys all laughed & cheered when you read what Kevin Federline got from Britney though, didn't you?
ReplyDeleteNo doubt some of it is in assets, but it still adds up to $750 million.
ReplyDeleteI thought that guy was a loser too kinkyb!tch. But he didn't get more than half from her.
ReplyDeleteYou can't say he didn't get endorsements due to him being a family man. Wasn't she a model (so she had her own earnings) before she married him? It isn't she who was greedy, it was her lawyers. They want their payday too you know.
ReplyDeleteBut you bring up a good point kinkyb!tch. If you think Elin deserved money, then so does fat K-Fed. I mean, he knocked her up, didn't he?
ReplyDeleteA model? She took some pics, I don't think she ever endorsed anything. And let's assume she did. Gee, thanks for bringing in your $100,000 to the marriage.
ReplyDeleteHe still got a shitload in child support yet had 2 nannies. WTF. Those Nannies should've got $20k a month then. I bet he paid them $7.50/hr. Fat ass obviously spent the rest on food.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as the lawyers? You know that bitter hag was trying to get everything she could.
ReplyDeleteHere's K-Fed's settlement:
ReplyDelete"But there still is a ray of hope for the self-deluded rapper: the princess of pop has to pay him a monthly allowance of $30,000 per month for half the period of time she was married to him."
Double standards for men.
Negative (bitter hag). It says she thought he was only worth $1b and so asked for half of that. She has some killer lawyers if they dug up more than that.
ReplyDeleteShe does have nice tits. And if you are marrying a billionaire, you should expect to do things. It's not like some dude making $50,000 a year could get away with that, but a billionaire should be able to.
ReplyDeleteOh, excuse me. She wanted $500 million. I take it back. She's not stingy.
ReplyDeleteSours, I can't belive you just typed that.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine if Elin gets married again to some regular Joe? Lucky guy. I guess if they divorce, the guy deserves half her (Tiger's) cash right?
ReplyDeleteOh she will get an iron clad prenup I'm sure. So he can try, but he is screwed.
ReplyDeleteI'm just playing around kinkyb!tch. But you know if some billionaire came up to you and asked you to marry him (this is really make believe) but you had to share your bed with some other chicks, you would probably think about it.
ReplyDeleteTiger should have gotten a prenup. Bad move on his part. He probably thought about having her killed too, he just couldn't come up with a clean plan.
ReplyDeleteNot much Spurs, been a while since I posted, but I have been reading. I like the 1 year re-post of that video of you going off the TheDirty bunch. I had not seen it before. Tiger is one dumb fucker. His dick has gotten him in big trouble. There is no way, he got $750 million worth of happy ending out of those chicks. Actually, he should get paid or a medal of some sorts for banging that Jamie Grubbs chick. Thats like climbing Mt. Everest.
ReplyDeleteShe is really hot, this broad. I really never noticed it. Well, I never looked at her, so I guess that explains it. But she looks good.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked it Miami, and that's cool you've still been checking out the site.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree, that $750 million wasn't worth those skanks he banged. I just wonder how he thought he'd be able to get away with it.
Yeah no shit, Miami. Most of those chicks were just beat beyond belief. I guess it really doesn't matter what a person looks like when you just want to piss on them after you bang them though.
ReplyDeleteOf course in photoshopped pics she looks really good kinkyb!tch. Don't get me wrong, she's good looking regardless, but don't get all wet over this one pic.
ReplyDeleteYou ever been pissed on kinkyb!tch?
ReplyDeleteUchitel was the hottest of the bunch from what I can tell. Yeah Spurs, I have no idea what made him think "This shit might actually work!". When you got that much money, you bang your chicks during the filming of your personal snuff films. Its much cheaper to have someone clean up some dead foreign chicks than to divorce Nordegren... but what do I know.
ReplyDeleteApparently Tiger wasn't out on practice range for 15 hours a day hitting golf balls.
ReplyDeletehaha
Great point Miami. I was thinking he could just go to whore houses, but those chicks would talk, so better just to buy a chick and then dispose of her when you're done. I mean he could have probably bout fresh meat for $5,000 a head. Then just tossed them in the ocean for the sharks to eat when he's done.
ReplyDeleteGood one Giggity Giggity. I guess he wasn't.
ReplyDeleteSours, I don't even allow cum on me, why would I allow piss?
ReplyDeleteI would go all Tony Montana and get some tigers with lasers. They would dispose of my hookers real proper like. No evidence (aside from the snuff films). But anyways, anybody see any good snuff films lately?
ReplyDeletekb said...
ReplyDeleteSours, I don't even allow cum on me, why would I allow piss?
Me either.. BLECH!
B!tch, I didn't think you had. But I went ahead and dropped the "kinky" part of your name, because we've just discovered that's a lie.
ReplyDeleteI would poop on Grubbs. She has piano teeth. But on a serious note, piss and poop are gross. They're nothing like a little blood n cum..... whose with me?!?
ReplyDeleteFunny Miami. I like the tiger idea. Helping feed animals and getting rid of evidence. Good combo. And I haven't seen any good snuff films lately, but I'd like to find some.
ReplyDeleteSkeets:
ReplyDeleteGood luck finding a rich man. He's probably going to want to jizz on your face. But it's not to humiliate you, he's marking his territory, like a dog. I'm sure you think most men are dogs anyway, so it makes sense.
Blood n cum? You know were to find virgins? How much?
ReplyDeletehahahaha, nah. I was hoping you knew where we could score some. I got $50 on it if you hear anything.
ReplyDeleteThis is the shit. From the door of my office, I look terribly busy.... I'm not. But all this typing and a serious look on my face says that I mean business. As Ice Cube once said, "Today was a good day".
Elfie, that article you posted the other night--you aren't still trying to cum are you?
ReplyDeleteI'll let you know Miami. Maybe I can discover an eighteen wheeler full of illegals, and grab the chicks who haven't been banged yet. Sure they'll only be 10 years old, but the point is to get a virgin.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's funny about your office.
ReplyDeleteBlood? Gross.
ReplyDeleteWell, maybe a little from me biting you, but that's it.
Piss does not belong in the same sentence as sex, Sours. Unless a chick accidentally pees when trying to cum, like Elfie's article. Otherwise, save it for in the shower afterwards (and don't lie, you pee in the shower, too).
I haven't tried it KB... you got any pointers? Your hand job while missionary tip got rave reviews BTW. haha
ReplyDeleteSpurs, don't hate on me just because I meet people in the real world. I would congratulate you too if you ever ventured out of your basement and talked to a real live girl.
ReplyDeleteI pee in my bed b!tch.
ReplyDeleteI talk to real live girls. I just don't write on her "I've met Miss Perfect! At a bar!"
ReplyDeleteHow long did the last Mr. Perfect last? A month. Just a regular Romeo and Juliet.
DG, this last Perfect you just ended it with, did you bang him?
ReplyDelete"She spawned 2 of his alien babies (granted they are pretty cute right now) and he married her, she is accustomed to living a certain lifestyle... why should that change because he chose to cheat on her"
ReplyDeleteShe doesnt want her lifestyle to change dont get divorced. Bitch didnt make any of that money
It was a restaurant spurs. A restaurant at which neither one of us were drinking.
ReplyDeleteWell said Oz.
ReplyDeleteI know that. TGIF. But you were at the bar when you met him. And Tony Soprano.
ReplyDeleteLeave her alone Sours... so what that she says guys are perfect when she meets them initially, she is an optimist. Not everyone is this world is as bitter and jaded as you.
ReplyDeleteNo I didn't. I never said the last one was Mr. Perfect ever anyway. He was boring and I thought he could unbore me but then I realized he didn't want me to ever have fun. It was just wrong.
ReplyDeleteYou're only writing that because you said FMB was the greatest ever, and two months in it's like you are on the fucking Titanic.
ReplyDeleteTry again Skeets.
Well, I stand corrected. Forgive me DG. This guy might be the one then.
ReplyDeleteThank you Elfie. I see things with the glass half full and spurs sees things as always empty.
ReplyDeleteNo, I see two chicks who are paddling upriver on a float made of broken dreams.
ReplyDelete5 1/2 months and the issues we have are not with our compatibility but moreso a perfect storm of him working more, me taking classes and working and us never getting time together anymore.
ReplyDeleteShould I just stay home and never talk to any guy just so I can say I didn't waste my time if it doesn't work? What a boring way to play it safe, spurs.
ReplyDeleteOkay Skeets. Well my bad then. You and Dottie are heading somewhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd spurs I look at you as someone who didn't bother to swim and drowned long ago.
ReplyDeleteI'm in a speedboat Skeets. You two were getting knocked around by the waves I made long ago.
ReplyDeleteThat is good to hear, Elfie!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I have any pointers, to be honest, I am quite confused at that aritcle. I thought squirting was normal and everyone did it. Me personally I can soak a bed just from clitoral stimulation, but it does help to get there faster if that is being done and then I get one of my nipples sucked.
No, I was the lifeguard at the pool DG.
ReplyDeleteDamn kb. Spurs after dark at 1:21 pm?
ReplyDeleteYeah, and TeXaS was wondering what happened to it. Nice job b!tch.
ReplyDeleteOZ said...
ReplyDelete"She spawned 2 of his alien babies (granted they are pretty cute right now) and he married her, she is accustomed to living a certain lifestyle... why should that change because he chose to cheat on her"
She doesnt want her lifestyle to change dont get divorced. Bitch didnt make any of that money
You are so full of shit (Happy Birthday btw). If you represented her you would've gotten her the same just so you could bill her an exorbant amount of hours and cash in yourself.
SPURS FAN said...
ReplyDelete"No, I was the lifeguard at the pool DG."
I bet you held people's heads under for a few mins before you decided to play hero and "saved" them
No spurs. You are just too afraid to get in the water.
ReplyDeleteWell, Elfie asked a question! I can't just leave her hanging.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't you post my article? I liked it better. I wanted to give az anon more ways to have fun on craigslist.
ReplyDeleteI did Skeets. That's the type of guy I am.
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks KB, you always come through for me. I don't know how to do that.. I mean I don't do that but I think it would be cool
ReplyDeleteI am DG. Just terrified.
ReplyDeleteI can picture Sours yelling at a kid who walked up the diving board stairs before the kid in front of him jumped, blowing his whistle at every kid who even dares to skip across the deck...all while sporting that sunblock nose and Ray Bans.
ReplyDeleteI knew it Sours!
ReplyDeleteI don't really see the point in sex if I don't do that.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely see him with the sunblock nose.
ReplyDeleteNo, but when I was a lifeguard at Schlitterbahn you'd always get some smart asses in tubes who would want to be pushed down the slide at this one river ride there. So I would send one down (the prick) and then someone larger right behind them (accidently), and when they'd get to the bottom they'd get pancaked by the larger person in the next tube.
ReplyDeleteI loved doing that.
ME toooooo, Sours what be the goofiest looking Lifeguard. One problem is he is allergic to the sun like those kids in that movie "The OThers."
ReplyDeleteSo much for making safety a priority as a lifeguard. No wonder you got fired.
ReplyDeleteSours, You... are... a... rebel.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me for not being part black and redskin Skeets. That's been a winning combo throughout history.
ReplyDeleteI know, he'd have to get neon green sunblock so he could make sure he got coverage everywhere
ReplyDeleteHere is a pic of spurs on his way to Schlitterbahn:
ReplyDeletehttp://bikehugger.com/images/blog/timmy_albino.jpg
I didn't get fired until years later DG. Long after I was a lifeguard. I got fired for taking some Dipping Dots ice cream, and some fag rat tattled on me.
ReplyDeleteI used to love that florescent sunblock ish when I was little. What the hell was that stuff called?
ReplyDeleteYou are a thief spurs!!! I'm surprised Lindsay didn't let us in on this.
ReplyDeleteThat really looks like you spurs. Could it be?
ReplyDeleteOnly because I didn't tell her.
ReplyDeleteCould be DG. Was this you when you dated Jamal?
ReplyDeletehttp://galleries.ganglandvictims.com/free/1/video/DFWEG/1/11/1005428/
That's sad. You would still be there to this day if it wasn't for the ice cream rat.
ReplyDeleteNah, I didn't get paid enough. Plus I was in Houston at the time, I'd come back for the summers. It was time to leave anyway.
ReplyDeleteLame. You are really trying too hard to insult me and failing as miserably as Drew.
ReplyDeleteAdvice: Keep your insults to the subject matter.
I hate that I can't get on facebook at work. It's so annoying.
ReplyDeleteI'd say that's weird they block it at your job, but that's probably a good idea.
ReplyDeleteBut I am on my own laptop so it's pointless.
ReplyDeleteDon't you pick up a signal from next door?
ReplyDeleteIm thinking about conning my way into marrying tiger's wife, so I can get half of her half
ReplyDeleteI do but it depends on what side of the building I am for a good signal and right now I'm on the wrong side.
ReplyDeleteOz is a smart man. That's why I like him. Spurs would have never thought of that because he is too afraid of the water.
ReplyDeleteThat seems like a great idea Oz.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tragic day for you then DG.
ReplyDeleteUh, I mentioned that about 50 comments ago DG.
ReplyDeleteI stand corrected then. You came up with the idea but it doesn't mean you would ever get in the water even if for some slim chance she was asking for you to come save her.
ReplyDeleteWell she'd actually be worth the trouble. I could see myself benefiting from her trickery on Tiger.
ReplyDeleteSours please do not post trickery links again. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteDG, keep paying that PI whatever it is you are paying him for pics of Sours. He gets really good shots.
It seems you are never going to look at this situation logically DG.
ReplyDeleteI think he should make that his avatar pic.
ReplyDeleteI am looking at it logically. He fucked up. Now he is paying. Let this be a lesson to the cheaters.
ReplyDeleteI told a PI to get good shots of you b!tch, but when he pulled up to your house and saw you, he called me up and said, "Fucker, you want a good shot? Where should I take it from? The moon?"
ReplyDeleteSo he just sent me my money back.
Well most cheaters don't have that kind of money, so there will be no lessons learned.
ReplyDeleteYeah if spurs ever got married and cheated on his wife, he'd have to give her $75, half of a bean burrito, one couch cushion, and a dime bag of shit weed
ReplyDeleteFunny Oz.
ReplyDeleteI love fucking with people so much... posted on this stupid parenting site I go to:
ReplyDelete"An escort who goes by the last name "Karadashian" and calls herself Mrs. Bryant (as in Kobe) hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm this is humorous to me but I can't quite figure out why?
However, you do have nice hair... is it yours or did you borrow that too?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
You left that comment Streets or what?
ReplyDeleteThe toronto man pissed at the mall video was taken down.
ReplyDeleteYesterday my job closed early because there was a memorial for the guy who died and some lady left a vm saying she was in front of the building and it was 8pm and wanted to know why we were not open when it says we are open til 10. Reminded me of that guy.
That sucks that was taken down. Was there any note left at your work for customers?
ReplyDeleteYeah I left that for some chick that posted pictures of herself saying "sugar is sweet but I am sweeter" and then calls herself Mrs. Bryant and has a photoshopped fake picture of her next to Kobe... among other ridiculous things.
ReplyDeleteOh. That's a good one. And what kind of bozo would do that with a pic of Bryant?
ReplyDeleteNo. But if we were closed who was she trying to reach on the phone? She probably heard the phone ringing.
ReplyDeleteShe probably just wanted to voice her displeasure. Is that why you went to TGIF? And is Mr. Perfect the guy who you work with?
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting us know what's wrong with America Evil. It must suck knowing we have a black president.
ReplyDeleteFunny. You like the crack smoking with hookers?
ReplyDeleteI am just so sick of these released monkeys, fucking everything, the same sex, animals, different races, tranny's... Its because of those "people" that i can;t go around sharing needles to shoot H with without catching some african monkey fucking disease
ReplyDelete"SPURS FAN said...
ReplyDeleteFunny. You like the crack smoking with hookers?"
Who doesnt?
Great point.
ReplyDeleteYou must be happy that a white woman got away with a black man's (well, small part) money.
ReplyDelete"SPURS FAN said...
ReplyDeleteYou must be happy that a white woman got away with a black man's (well, small part) money. "
nope, first of all she had to fuck that aids infested monkey. second, I aint gettin none of it
With your attitude I don't think you'll be getting anything anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteJohn Edwards ex wife deserves 740m too
ReplyDeleteSorry about your luck Evil.
ReplyDeleteJohn Edwards wife really got screwed.
ReplyDeleteYeah she did!
ReplyDeleteNow she deserves some cash. She was with him for a long time.
ReplyDeletewhat is in her mouth.. that is weird
ReplyDeleteit looks like she is drooling on herself
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. It does.
ReplyDeleteNo Spurs. That is where I went to afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI knew it would be after, I just figured Mr. Perfect was from work and went over to TGIF too after the memorial.
ReplyDeleteNo. I will not touch anyone I work with. I'm not 2d4u.
ReplyDeleteFunny. Good thinking.
ReplyDelete