Ass Hammered

AHMEDABAD: It was a sticky situation for Umesh Paanawala, 25, a resident of Vejalpur, who was brought to VS Hospital on Saturday afternoon with a stick in his anus. It had gone deep inside his anal canal and when it could not be pulled out manually, Paanawala came to the hospital where he was operated for removal of the stick from his body.

VS Hospital officials said Umesh come to the hospital with a 8-9 inch handle of a carpenter's hammer stuck in his anus. "According to him, it was the result of an accident that happened late on Thursday night when while trying to sit on the floor, he accidentally sat right on the stick. It got stuck deeper, making it difficult for him to take it out manually," said an Ellisbridge police station official who made a record of the case at police table.

Usually, in such a case the person is given anaesthesia and the foreign object is taken out from the anal canal. In this case, however, Paanawala's stomach had to be opened and pressure applied from inside to push the stick out "His stomach was opened and the stick pushed from inside so that it come out," a doctor told TOI.

Police officials, however, doubt the account of the accident given by Paanawala. They believe it might be a fallout of his sexual experiments.

I figured being the writer of the story tried to go comedy with the first line, I'd do the same with the title.